webtoon » chenle

二

THE sound of the alarm filled our small dorm. I could hear haechan groan, forcing himself out of bed. His hair was a mess and he had one eye closed. I wish I could laugh but I didn't look any better. I probably looked worse. messy hair, puffy face and lips that looked like they have been applied with concealer.
Like every other morning, we got out of bed and went to our little "dining area", basically dragging our feet as we walked. We sat down at the small table, bodies hitting the chairs rather harshly, letting our body weight take over our actions since we felt like a living rock.

my body always felt the heaviest in the morning.

we made cereal along with some hot cocoa. then had a simple chat about the upcoming carnival while eating. all this happening with our eyes heavy and half closed.

" I can't wait to go back. I miss that place" he said, having slightly more energy when talking about the carnival.

"eh..." I played with the milk in the bowl of soon to be finished cereal. "I don't have much meaningful memories there. just ones that I either regret or wished I did something else instead"

"oh come on.. You can see your old classmates. you couldn't have hated all of them right" he said, trying to give me a valid reason to enjoy the upcoming carnival. the only reason why I agreed to go was because it's haechan. it's hard to deny him with a face like that. if I didn't know him, I'd probably throw the invitation away and live on with my current life.

"as if I even like them, plus I also have to see him"

"who is hi- oh... Him.. "

" yep... "

I refered to one of my old crushes. the so called closest I've ever been to my crush.
but over time and after graduating, I could only ever feel awkward around him. doing some things I regret now as an older version of myself.

"cheer up. I bet you can find someone better here. fuck him and don't let his existence get you down" haechan said.

he gave a reassuring smile with a small nod. It made me feel calm. Yes, he is annoying but hey, he's human too, and he's also my best friend.

-

I walked through the school hall with haechan since we had the same classes that day. We talked like usual until we heard someone call my name.

"Ryujin! " I recognized that voice instantly. My friend, naeun. naeun got so called popular after entering high school. she became friends with seniors without even needing to do anything. all of a sudden, they just message her and boom, they become friends. there were a few times I argued with her, all because I was jealous she could always get her crush, unlike myself. I just crush on them, but I can never get pass the friend stage and at least go towards the best friend or close friend stage. maybe I was barely their friend and merely an acquaintance. our friendship wasn't very stable, but I can't bring myself to shut her out. not like she did anything wrong, it was just my childish jealousy. when I'm down, she gives great advice.

"Hi naeun... " I gave a small smile.

"I guess it's my cue to leave" Haechan muttered, mouth forming a tight line. his hands were shoved in his pockets. I gave a small nod, not wanting him to stand there awkwardly. He waved goodbye and went into class where he met his other friends.

"soo.... How's everything? " she asked me

"Nothing special. " I shrugged. "Just thought of going back to my old schools carnival with haechan. "

she nodded slowly, "oooo sounds interesting. Anyways. I'm having some problems. "

Naeun looked at me and pouted. I already knew what was coming. just a little pout from her and I would know what she was trying to say. sometimes I feel like we're friends just so that I can be her therapist when she needs it.

"it's him again isn't it" I sighed, referring to her current crush.

" bingo "

She proceeded to tell me about her problems with her crush. Her crush was just a grade above us. He's popular, not many juniors like us can be friends with him, but here is naeun, already getting his attention, I don't even know how. All I could do is listen to her rants.

The bell finally rang after what felt like forever. we bid goodbye and I went into my own class.

"Hey ryu, are you ok? "  hyejin asked, she was my actual close friend. I sighed and sat next to her, putting my bags down. I looked at her with a slight, tired pout. Her mouth formed an "O". Just with that small pout she already knows what is wrong with me.

"Don't worry ryujin, I know there's someone who likes you, you will see soon" She said reassuringly. I wish I had her positivity. but I'm definitely glad that I have her.