Somebody That I Used To Know

A Real Man

Two Months Later

"Shit," Tom whispers, looking around the room.

They brought the mattress from the guest bedroom downstairs so that it would be easier for Tom to get around. Most nights, Molly slept downstairs with him. She didn't want him to be alone.

Tonight, Lily really wanted a sleepover. It was the last night until Tom get his cast off after 8 long weeks.

Him and Molly butt heads at first, she didn't understand how he could feel any sort of sympathy for what he did, which is why she snapped at the hospital with Diana.

Diana left the day that Tom came home. She didn't want to infringe on their space and she was sure that he would just want to be alone with his wife and daughter after being gone for so long.

Tom turns on his phone... 3:42am. He knew that Molly was still sleeping and that it was be a hassle for her to come downstairs. He slowly hangs onto the desk and lifts himself off, slightly groaning at the pressure right above leg. Carefully, he walks to the wheelchair sat in the corner of the room. He sits down, and wheels himself to the bathroom.

Molly walks down the stairs as she sees Tom exiting the bathroom, wheelchair behind him, trying to walk back.

"Thomas?" she snaps. "Sit down. What the hell are you doing?"

"I had to take a piss," he replies. "I couldn't wait until morning."

"You didn't have to wait until morning, you could've called me."

"You were sleeping."

"I don't care. This is why I should've stayed downstairs. You can't be walking."

"I'm getting it off tomorrow, what difference does it really make?"

"You can't walk on it for a few weeks after physical therapy."

"Then why am I doing it?" Tom shrugs.

"There's no point to argue. Sit down and let me bring you back to bed." Molly replies and starts to walk towards Tom.

"I can do it myself."

"I'm staying down here with you."

"There's no room. Lily takes up more of the bed than I do."

"Well then I'll have her move over a little."

"You can go upstairs. Don't feel like you're glued down here because of me. I'm sure that you want to want be upstairs in our comfortable bed."

"This is comfortable, and I'm with my husband."

"I don't know what you want with me anyways. I wouldn't blame you if you stayed upstairs."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't give you anything you want. Why are you with me?"

"That's insane. You know that it doesn't bother me anymore. It's not fun if you're having a panic attack in the middle of it."

"That's not what I'm talking about." Tom says. "Everything. This seems to keep happening to me. You wanted a man, not someone who... who-"

"Stop it. Are you seriously doing this? You're being insane, Thomas."

"No, I'm not, I'm serious."

"I am too." Molly snaps. "You think that you're less of a man because of what happened to you?"

"It keeps happening... over and over again. I should be able to protect myself, protect my family, and-"

"Okay, number one, a woman can do that too. I'm perfectly capable of protecting my family and so are others. Two, someone hurt you, that's not your fault."

"But it just kept happening. I mean, I... it was an agreement. I made a deal with him and that was on me. I'm responsible for what he did, I let it happen. I agreed to it, Mols. Of course I didn't want to, it made me sick, but I agreed to it. That's what makes me less."

"So by your logic, are gay men not real men?"

"I never said that." Tom snaps, almost yelling. "Don't put words in my mouth."

"Really? Because your entire back-up to the argument of you not being a real man is due to the fact that someone assaulted you the way that they did, then I'd say that that's what you said. You said that it was an agreement, with although we both know this is a crock of shit, you consider it to be that you consented to what he did. That means that you're saying gay men aren't real men either"

"No, Molly, of course not, I would never say something like that. That's it true."

"So when it's not you, it's okay?"

"When it's not me, it's happily done with a loving partner."

"Okay, so all the other men in the world that have been through something aren't men either?"

"No! Molly, why are you saying this stuff?"

"No, Thomas, why are you saying this stuff? These are your words, not mine."

"But it's not true."

"Then why is it that everyone else in the world is validated but when it comes to you, you're just so low. I don't understand that."

"I just don't feel like I am, okay? I'm supposed to be this strong, untouchable person and I'm not. I... I had a mental illness, Mols. I was in a hospital twice because of it. I had an eating disorder-"

"Thomas," Molly sighs. "Come on. Do you seriously feel like that makes you less of a man? So what, you're not some hard-ass man who beats their wife, that's not a bad thing... at all."

"That's not what I mean, Mols, because I didn't think they're men. It's just... I'm not supposed to be like this."

"You have trauma, honey, that's not going to go away. Things happened to you and there is nothing you can do about it. I love you more than anything in this world and I really hope that you don't feel like things you can't control make you less manly. I think it's strong that you show your emotions."

"I don't show my emotions, Molly... I'm just so fucked up that they come out."

Molly sighs and rests her head in Tom's shoulder. She kisses him on the cheek and cups his face. "No, you're not. You had a small relapse a couple months ago, that's it. You've been doing so good lately and I am unbelievably proud of you. Especially with everything that's been happening, you're so, so strong, okay? I love you so much."

"I love you too, Molly." Tom quietly says, looking at the door to the house. Did he lock it? It needs to be checked again.

"Let me grab my phone cord and I'll meet you in bed."

Tom smiles and waits for Molly to go upstairs. He quickly wheels himself to the door and unlocks the door, then locks it again. Although he knew that the door being locked for a few hours already wouldn't decrease it's effectinacy, it still didn't hurt to make sure.