Duplicity

Chapter 24

 

            Fitz fixed his gaze on Olivia, trying to process what she had just said. She peeked at him under hooded eyes, terror and exhilaration surging through her. He took a step towards her, close enough that she could smell his soap mixed with the scent of their passion.

“I’m sorry” she dragged her eyes from his, “I just got carried away.”

“What are you sorry about?” he ran his palm down her cheek, “I pulled you into shower.”

“Not that….” Her voice trailed as he watched her struggle with her emotions, “I shouldn’t have said that…I mean I have no right to say that to you.”

“Livie, I love you” she felt his arms slide around her waist, “It makes me happier than you’ll ever know to hear you tell me that you love me too.”

“But I can’t love you, you’re not mine,” she felt completely exposed to him, naked in every way, “You belong to Mellie, not me.” Her voice fell to a near whisper.

“Yet here I am nearly naked with you, Olivia” the use of her full name was meant to accentuate his point, she knew that, but it also wounded her, “That wasn’t Mellie I made love to last night and that wasn’t Mellie in the shower with me just now. Don’t you think this is difficult for me?”

“I shouldn’t have said it because it doesn’t matter. I can love you all I want and it doesn’t change a thing. You are married, you are running for President, and I am hopelessly, madly, head over heels in love with someone I have to keep a secret” Olivia knew that if she didn’t tell him how she felt she may never have the opportunity or the courage again.

“But isn’t it kinda fun….the stolen moments….seeing this specimen play basketball for your honor?” he gestured to himself grinning and hoping to earn even a slight smile from her.

“Fitz…” she sounded so sad and he knew that it wasn’t easy for her to say these things. Fitz knew that Olivia didn’t share her feelings with many people yet here she was baring her soul to him. He knew she deserved the same from him so he took her hands in his.

“I can’t stand not being able to tell people how I feel about you” the grin disappeared from Fitz’s face as he spoke, “I want to be able to hold your hand whenever I feel like it. I want my kids to get to know you as the woman I love not just the woman who is helping me get elected. I want to take you out on dates. I want to wake up with you every morning and go to sleep next to you every night. I want to cook dinner with you and sit on the couch watching a movie with you. I want to tuck the kids in with you. I want to sit with you and watch the kids play. I want my children to grow up knowing that they are loved by me and by you and by Mellie in her own way. I want them to see what a marriage is supposed to look like, what it feels like to have parents who love one another and parent together.”

“As nice as that all sounds,” began Olivia not meeting Fitz’s gaze, “We can’t have that. As much as we may want all of those things we can’t have them. You belong to someone else, you can’t be mine and I can’t be yours.”

“Mellie said she wanted last night to be about us deciding what we want” explained Fitz, “and I’ve decided what I want. I am going to tell Mellie about us. I’m going to tell her that I love you and I want to be with you. I’m going to ask Mellie for a divorce.”