A Gun To My Heart

7

"So what exactly are you trying to do?" I ask my mom. She sits down in the red chair looking straight at me. She looks like a queen. Her nails are painted the same color as the chair that looks like a throne. Her hair laying flawlessly on her shoulders, framing her perfectly sculpted face.

"My country is running out of healers. We need to take their healers, Maeve."

I stop any words from escaping my lips, thinking thoroughly before speaking. She wants to steal their healers, leaving them with no one left - only to save her own country. Letting numerous people in Sarjia die. Just so her country will thrive, swim, almost drown in the wealth they already had.

She's eyeing me closely, knowing exactly what I'm thinking. "Don't you want to save your people, Maeve?"

They were never my people. When have I ever ruled by her side? One second ago she called the whole country hers. She looks at the people like some kind of number. She looks at them like some kind of item she owns. Just like she looks at me.

"The people left here will die."

"Like I care. This isn't my country."

"But it's still people." She's the leader of Insuria. Her method of ruling, makes me want to slap some sense into her head. People already ruined the earth by being greedy. She's doing the exact same here. If she continues this way, Emris will vanish too.

"But, not my country."

I scoff at her useless words. How can one be so selfish? Just because she thinks she doesn't own, the people living here - she leaves them to die, without even being able to get help. Innocent human beings with their own daughters, sons, parents that they love.

There it is. The word love. She doesn't know it. I almost forgot. Almost. I clench my fists, frowning my eyebrows. How did she even get chosen by other people to lead Insuria?

"Maeve, listen to me-"

"I've heard enough. You took me here to betray all of these people?"

She leans towards me, resting her head in her hand.

"Sometimes you must betray to save."

I slam my hand on the table next to me, wishing she would startle. Wishing she would even twitch the slightest muscle. Of course, she doesn't.

"You could just ask them to send some healers over," I almost whisper, tired of her bullshit.

She snickers, lifting her chin up.

"Do you really think they would send it to us? No, Maeve. They are just as greedy as we are. They want to see us die. This is why they haven't sent anything over to help us yet. Even though they see that we need it."

They are just as greedy as we are. We? I almost laugh at the words she's using. First, the people are suddenly mine, making it sound like I'm helping her rule the country. And then we're both suddenly greedy?

She's just full of pride, not wanting to ask for something. Instead, she chooses to hunt for it. Knowing she'll get it. Just so she can steal even more than what she really needs. Leaving them with nothing, watching them slowly fall ... die.

"What if I refuse to help you with your little selfish plan?"

Her eyes darken at the thought, and her mouth forms into an evil smile.

"You won't do that." She almost demands.

"Why?" I snap back. What will she do? Hold me back with her slim arms? Tying my wrists to a chair, so I can't move?

I would scream it out loud. And continue to do that until someone hears it. Ruining her career. Our life. Making us live in poverty, watching her and how much she would suffer living like that. Living like all the other people she thinks are items she owns.

"I'll kill you," she sneers and I let a loud, malicious laugh out. I act like her now. Knowing my power.

"I'm your daughter. You wouldn't do that. Maybe you'll beat me, slap me or even torture me. But kill me?" I chuckle. She wouldn't do that.

She bares her teeth.

"You are not my daughter. You were your father's daughter, yes. But not mine. And you will never be mine. Now you're only some muck I have to carry around unless I want to make people suspicious of me."

Her words sting. They feel like a thousand knives and razor blades, that are cutting right through me. Leaving me on the ground bleeding to death. It feels like I'm inhaling pure fire. Stopping me from saying another word.

How can she say all of that? She birthed me. She carried me in her stomach for nine whole months, before experiencing the worst pain, any woman on this planet can experience.

Just like that, I knew why I've been treated like this. She doesn't think she owns me as she does with Sabrina. Therefore, she leaves me alone in the dark - the same place she wants all the people in Sarjia to live. The bitter, cold, lonely dark.

Leaving them without anyone that can heal them. Letting their fragile wounds stay open. Long enough for them to die. Just because they're not 'hers'. And apparently, I'm a part of them.

Nothing but an item.
What a shocking thing to know.