A Gun To My Heart

30

"Why do you want to steal them?" She asks with a monotone voice, still looking at me. I meet her eyes. They're a beautiful frigid blue color. Her red hair makes them pop, almost like two lasers cutting into mine.

"Borrow."

"We both know that's not true, " she hisses through gritted teeth.

I want to borrow them. My mom wants to steal.

"On my part it is."

The sentence leaves her speechless and she's thrown into a massive puzzle. Already trying to solve it. Moving every piece in a different direction, trying to put the tremendous pieces together.

"Who's the other part?"

I don't answer, leaving her to question everything else. This time she doesn't appear so big and powerful. It makes me laugh at her.

"If you plan to appear tough, go through with it. Don't switch up after one second. It makes you seem vulnerable, " I say passing a hateful smile towards her as I stand up from the sand.

Instead of snapping back, she breaks her scowl and looks down at her hands again. Another move that shows how powerless she is.

I walk back to the building, still thinking about how my mother will pull this whole thing off. When she will do it. She never told me, only so I would continue to immerse myself in my thoughts.

I open the door and meet her in the hallway. She's standing next to a maid while gripping her chin with force. Now I know why they fear her.
The sight of me makes her release her hand from the maid's face.

With one movement with her hand, the maid quickly disappeared without saying a word.
"Done, " I tell her, and her face stays indifferent. No smile. No reaction. Just her apathetic face.

Contradicting everything I thought would happen.
You foolish girl. I should have known better. Her heart made of ice will never melt for someone like me. For anyone. It will stay like that until she dies.

"Now you wait, " she mumbles, as she turns around to walk away. I barely glance a small evil smirk forming on her face, making my stomach turn. Her tall heels click against the floor, slowly getting softer as she vanishes.

Now I wait. The one thing I can't do.

Calix suddenly appears and the sight of him so close to me sends shivers down my spine. He puts on the same mask as he fooled me with, not realizing that Aries exposed him.

He is going to die. Soon.

Walking around and knowing that stuff makes me uneasy. Even though he's a bad person. Knowing that a person will die, and walking around pretending like nothing is about to happen, makes me stressed.

I already feel my heart beating faster.

"Back so soon?"

Soon. You will die, soon.
"Yes, now please excuse me."

I walk as fast as I can back to my room, trying to breathe the tight air. Aries isn't here this time, saving me. Comforting me. It feels like the air itself forms into hands strangling me. Digging into my throat. Thorns forming onto them, poking my skin. Stabbing through it.

'I don't need to be saved.'

Lies, lies, lies.

That's everything I'm capable to do.

Lie.

My only power is to lie.

To hurt people that care about me.

Push them away when they are offering to help me.

So selfish.

I'm
so
selfish.

I clasp my hands around my throat trying to get rid of the air. Something that isn't possible. Yet, I still try to do the pathetic thing.
The strength in my legs break and I fall to the floor.

'I don't need to be saved'

Lies.

Automatically, I begin to gasp for air, reminding me of my dad. Gasping for the air existing for everyone but us.

Us.
A word I thought I would never use. Me and my dad. Us.
Both strangled. Gasping for nothing. Falling to the ground.

Both lifeless. Both needing support. Both alone.

Lonely.

'Aren't you lonely?'
His soft, sweet voice echoes in my, now empty mind. Torturing me. I scream as loud as I can. Trying to express as much pain stored inside of me. Wanting to shatter the glass. Let it touch me. Pain me even more.

We're both dead.

Both dead.
Dead in different ways.

Him suffocating for a while.
Until his eyes emptied.
Leaving me with nothing but void.
Emptiness in his once pretty, green eyes.
His pretty eyes looked into mine.
Carving itself into my mind forever.
Turning brutal.
Bothering me in my dreams.
Every night.
The one time a human is meant to sleep.
Rest.
Receive peace.

But my peace got stolen. Leaving me suffocating. But my eyes never empties. It never fills with void. I never leave them. I stay here. Feeling every inch of pain. Desperation.

He abandoned me with the emptiness I now call my pain.