A Gun To My Heart

27

He removes the hair covering my face and watches the one single tear slip from my eye. His arms bring me into a warm embrace, and I burrow my face into his hard chest, still trying to hold back the tears as much as I can.

"I'm so sorry."

He rests his chin on my head, carefully playing with my hair.
"Don't apologize."

I want to snap at him and look deeply into his hazel eyes. Tell him that I have to apologize. Tell him that I'm the one letting it happen.
You will live in grief because of me.

I sob into his chest ruining his perfect, blue suit.
"I'm so sorry," I whisper again, closing my eyes as his hands rub my head trying to comfort me. The lump in my throat keeps digging into my flesh.

The once small cracks in the pillars have now succeeded. Everything has collapsed, leaving me once, again crying in his arms. Broken. He looks at my face, wiping away the tears. Absorbing the sight of my eyes.

"Someone will see you crying if we continue to stay here." His voice is so soft, and I hold his arm as we escape the dining room. We pass through a small, dark corridor. Small torches are flickering at the stone walls, and the floors are dirty.

"Secret passages?" My voice still breaks, and even though I try to hide my sorrow I can't. I am the one that will make him live in pain for the rest of his life.

He doesn't respond and suddenly we're in my room. He gently helps me into my bed, and I want to roll my eyes at him.

"I don't want to sleep, Aries."
He puts the duvet gently over my body, and my head hits the silk pillow.

"Then we can cuddle."
He takes his shoes off and joins me in the bed, wrapping his athletic arms around me. If I wasn't so tired of everything, I would freeze, and probably feel the butterflies going wild in my stomach.

Instead, I get closer to him, closing my eyes, embracing his touch. Relaxing as his scent blossoms in the atmosphere.
I want to ask him how he is doing. Tell him that I've seen his dark circles resting under his eyes. Ask him if he's okay.

I want to, but I can't find the strength to do it. Every second that passes, makes me feel more and more exhausted, and the tears slowly dries.

I am so grateful for having his presence near me.

*

My eyes slowly open and I quickly look around the room. Arms instantly pull me back to the bed, and I turn towards him.
"I'm still here, stop worrying, " he grunts not even bothering to open his eyes.

I let my hand run through his silver hair. There is this feeling I can't describe that pushes every other feeling away.

Suddenly it's like the distress and darkness are gone. Nonexistent. Only leaving me with this one feeling. It makes me feel at ease. Pleased. Thankful. Appreciative of this moment.

"Thank you, " I mumble letting my finger trace his jawline. Thank you for existing.

His mouth forms into a small smile, revealing his small dimples I barely see. The room is dark. I try to sit up to find out what the time is, but his strong grip tugs me back into the bed yet again.

"Stop doing that, " he mutters again, holding me even closer. I open my mouth to ask what the time is, but his finger touches it as he shushes me.

"Relax, " he tells me again, finally opening his eyes. They shift between my eyes and my lips.
"What is the time?" I whisper, moving even closer to his face. I see his little freckles spread across his pale skin.

Instead of answering my question, he puts his lips on mine, letting a warm sensation spread across my body. The butterflies I was unable to feel earlier have now appeared, fluttering everywhere.

His hand is gentle on my face. He is so careful. Treating my skin like it's glass. Afraid to make it break with his single touch. I feel his warm breath touch my skin. "It's late, so go to sleep," he replies silently.

I lace our hands together, resting my head on his. "How are you feeling?"
There is no reason for him to dodge my question yet again. I don't want him to dodge it. He sighs closing his eyes.

"Right now I'm feeling great, " he says smiling, and I lift my hand barely tracing his dark circles.
"I'm not talking about right now."

He moves it to his mouth carefully planting a kiss on my hand. How can one be so perfect?

"Don't worry about me, Maeve, " he mumbles.
I have the urge to hug him. Let him feel my embrace. Let him know that I care about him too.

Just now I realize we're still fully clothed. Him in his suit, and me in my dress.
"Aren't you uncomfortable sleeping in that?"

The second those words escape my mouth I regret saying them. He grins.

"What are you trying to say?"
I feel a blush spread across my face, embarrassed.
"Nothing."
I put my arm around his body, resting on the comfortable pillows.

"Go to sleep. It's so late."
Once again, he dodges the question so easily. I lay in his arms closing my eyes, letting thoughts surround my mind again.

"I care about you, " stumbles out of my mouth as I peacefully drift away.