A Gun To My Heart

6

We're eating breakfast at the long, marble table again. Since yesterday Aries hasn't taken his eyes off of me. Even though I'm trying to make him fall in love with me, it's getting annoying. And it's an act. I tell myself, knowing deep inside that I'm actually really unsure if it's an act or not.

But it is. I close my eyes hard, getting tired of the intrusive thoughts. They push and pull against each other, every second of the day, tiring me out mentally.

"Maeve?"

My eyes burst open, and my gaze is fixed on Aries in front of me. His voice is quiet, not wanting our parents to hear us, on the other side of the table. I shrug my shoulders, sending a clear message without saying anything.
What is it? Do you pity me?

He presses his lips together, wanting to say something, but he doesn't. Instead, he rises from his seat and walks away. Mom casts a glance at me, telling me to follow him.

I let out a silent sigh as I follow him out to the garden. He turns around smirking. "You are so confusing, and I've only known you for a day."

I sit down at the bench, my back facing the big windows. I don't want her to watch us again. He sits down next to me, and we sit in silence enjoying the birds chirping.

In Insuria our birds are muted. My mom thinks they're annoying, interrupting the dead silence she craves.

"Do you even want to be here?" He asks, still keeping his gaze forward. I do the same.

No, I don't.

"Yes."

I wonder what he's thinking when it comes to yesterday. Watching me getting slapped twice, and watching my eyes fill with tears because of pure anger.

"Why were you hiding in the hallway?" I ask him, my voice is firm. His hand twitches as he looks at me. I look at his silver hair, and the way it's shining. I wish my hair was like that.

"I wanted to know more about you. And since you didn't want to open up, I followed you."

My eyes narrow, as I'm watching him with disgust.

"I know you're hiding something, Maeve."
His face is serious, and he lets the fake smile fall. This is the Aries I knew he tried to hide. The cold, sneaky Aries, wanting to tear the opponent apart.

I snicker as I look away. But in reality, I don't know what to do next. Obviously, he's correct. And he has been correct for the past 24 hours. But I continued to try to convince him. Begging for it to work. What do I do now?

I don't know.

He sees the internal fight I'm having through my face. "I don't know what you're here to do, but you need to know that I'm not your enemy."

He sounds like a snake. His whole approach to this is like a snake.
Waiting in the grass, hiding, pretending to be innocent, until the right time to strike comes across. And then he'll rip the victim apart, eating it alive.

"I'm not your enemy."
Except you are. You and your father.

"The way your mother punished you was not okay."

I roll my eyes at him, meeting his eyes.
"What can you do about that? Tell her? Hey, you can't treat your daughter like that." His face falls.

"What can I do about that? Hey, mom. Please stop, I don't like it." He tears his eyes away from mine, breaking the eye contact. Knowing I'm correct. We can't do something about it. Why is he acting like a hero, that knows the solution to every problem? He's just like his father.

Stupid.

"Why isn't your sister here, too?" He asks innocently. My eyes dart to his face. Is he trying to provoke me? No. He doesn't know about it. The way she's treated is way better.

"Do you want her to be here?" I snap.

He laughs as he tilts his head forward. Why is he laughing? Maybe he does know. Maybe he wants her here, just to see it for himself. Or maybe just to see me in even more pain.

Stop.

Instead, he apologizes.
"Sorry. I was just trying to change the topic."
I look at him, as I'm raising my eyebrows in surprise.

"No, don't apologize. It was unnecessary ... the reaction I .. uh .. had."
He smiles at my attempt to be nice and reaches out his hand. I look at him confused. You want me to hold your hand? For what?

"Let's start over."
Right. You probably meant, I'm just saying this to make you trust me even more, but I won't actually forget everything and throw it away like nothing.

I take his hand, knowing my mom will see this. He leads me longer through the garden, and now the buildings are gone. We're surrounded by gigantic trees filled with flowers hanging in the air.

I turn to see Aries is watching goldfish in a big pond. "My mom bought those." I stand next to him, admiring the fish swimming delicately next to one another.

"Where's your mom now?" I ask, and turn to see him. His jaw is clenched as he keeps his gaze away from mine.

"Dead."

My eyebrows raise, and I cover my face in shock.

"Then there's at least one thing we have in common. One dead parent," I say trying to lift the mood, as I'm making jazz hands.

He looks at me, and a small smile grows on his face.

"Your humor is horrible." I laugh. Now it's me, trying to make another human feel joy.

"I've never met a person, that makes fun of people's dead parents," he chuckles as he sits down on the grass.

"Your suit-"

"It doesn't matter."
He pats down on the grass next to him, and I do as he signals. If that was anyone else, I would've done the exact opposite. Refuse to do what they wanted. Standing instead, letting my feet bleed in the heels.

We watch the goldfish swim in silence. It seems like we have another thing in common. Silence. Peace. Wanting those two things to fill our atmosphere, so we can stop a million thoughts in our heads.

Maybe we have more in common than I thought we did.