A Gun To My Heart

17

Everyone comes rushing to me, and Aries disappears in the large crowd. They continue to chant my name, pat me on the shoulder, tell me I did well. But all I want right now is to follow him. Tell him I could win by myself. Tell him that he didn't have to surrender for me to win. Telling him he didn't have to 'save me.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"You did great, " Sage laughs as he pats me on my back. Everyone begins to walk towards the cafeteria, in their many different friend groups.

I don't reply fuming over Aries's decisions. Azariella rolls her eyes as we walk after the others. "He lost on purpose, Sage."
Finally, someone gets it. My eyes ignore the floating chandeliers and the same cold interior. I haven't missed any of this.

"Woah, really?"  Maddox replies cluelessly, making me smack my hand on the back of his head. How many stupid people are close to me right now? It feels like everyone, but Azariella.

"Ouch, Maeve. I understand you're mad, but that's not a reason to hit me." Maddox replies again, and I'm fighting the urge to hit him again, but even harder.

We sit down at the cafeteria, receiving our lunch. Our plates are filled with chicken and vegetables placed perfectly beside each other.

"Why did he do that?" Sage asks stuffing the mouth in his mouth. He reminds me of a pig.

"Probably because she was bad, " Maddox replies.

I stop eating, throwing the razor-edged knife I held in my hand. It barely hits his cheekbone, creating a small cut. The knife drops to the ground clattering, and everyone looks at us.

Azariella and Sage look at me wide-eyed with their jaw dropped. His black blood drips from his cut, and he looks at me not even caring to mask his anger. Every muscle in his jaw is tense, his gaze is hostile and his hand is clenched on the table.

"I am not bad, " I sneer full of bitterness, as I rise from the table. One second after I've turned my back I hear plates shattering loud, meeting the floor. I continue to walk out of the cafeteria knowing he tried to hurt me as I hurt him.

Feeling every person's look leech onto my body, walking from the mess I made. Yet again. I made another mess. Just because of my anger. The anger I couldn't control. The same anger, that almost made me reach for the knife to harm Aries.

Maddox probably wanted to stick his long fork onto my arm, making me feel a sharp pain as the metal spike through my skin.

"Maddox, calm down." Azariellas relaxed voice always succeeds when she tries to use it to calm people down. However, this time it doesn't. I still hear him trying to get out of their grip.

Knocking everything over. Wrecking the table. Banging his hands everywhere.

Everyone begins to open their mouth even more. Chatting, and gossiping shit. Now they don't even care how loud they speak. Maddox and the mess cover the sound of everyone else.

But my mind still races, wondering about what they could be saying.

Which one of them would win the fight?
Look how sensitive he is.
How much it will cost him to replace the shattered plates?
What he would do to Maeve if he could?
Think about all the different ways he would hurt her.
When will he take revenge?
Look what she caused.
She's such a nightmare.
Why did he do that to him?
What would her mom would think of this?

He has no control. Just like her. My lips tighten at all the awful things they could be saying.

"You're a bitch!" His furious voice echoes in the room, almost sending invisible waves of force that could knock me over. My thoughts shatter, and I'm brought back to reality. Everything in me wants me to turn around and look at the chaos I made. But that would make me seem weak. It would make me look like I want to apologize.

Something that would be a waste, and something I wouldn't do. But it would for sure plant that idea in people's heads. And I can't risk that.

"Dude, you're breaking everything. Take a chill pill." Sage tries to mask his voice. Trying to not sound influenced by the beast I activated, standing right in front of him. I'm convinced everyone in the room hears the panic in his voice. If I was him, I would be filled with panic too. Watching Maddox go crazy.

I snicker as I leave the room.

"Moron."

The word escapes my lips, making me feel powerful as I'm out of the room. Still. That one thought pops up in my head. Making me second guess everything I just committed. Crushing my ego.

Was it necessary?