A Gun To My Heart

23

"What are you thinking about?" After walking for a while in silence he finally breaks it. The train of thoughts in my head disappears and I look at him. We're almost out of the dark forest. "How are you doing, Aries?"

His posture stiffens as he sets his glance on the exit of the forest. I look at him trying to figure him out. But every time I try, I can't see longer than his emotion on the surface. The single thing I see, is his emotion on the surface, covering for something else.

Something he doesn't want anyone to see. And I can't help but question what it is. "I'm doing good," he answers short and puts a weak smile on his face. "That's a lie," I reply. Now it's my turn.

Every step we take slowly brings us closer and closer to the end of the forest. I wish it was longer, wanting more answers to my questions. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. I can't just slow down everything around us. Stop time.

"I've just not gotten that much sleep, the past few days." I roll my eyes at his poor try to brush the question away. Right before the row of trees end, I stop us. The leaves barely cover us, and I turn his head to me. "Why?" My eyes reach his, trying to rummage through the walls he has set up. Trying to dodge every obstacle. What are you hiding, Aries?

He breaks eye contact, walking out of the forest, exposing us. Leaving me with nothing of what I wanted to find hidden, deep into his eyes. I furrow my brows and turn my gaze to the big entrance door. Our clothes are now dry after the long walk. Mom runs out from the building embracing us with her arms.

Unlike Aries's embrace, when I felt comfortable, safe, secure - her embrace makes me want to vomit. It makes me want to scratch her, digging my nails into her skin hoping she will remove her touch from mine.

When she retreats her facial expression is all concern. I even think she's been fake crying, looking at her mascara smudged out. I almost sneer at her worthless mask, knowing that both I and Aries don't buy it.

"Where have you guys been?" Her voice trembles. How does she do it? How does she make it look so real? If Aries didn't see her when she struck her ugly hand on my face, he would've fallen for her petty lies right now.

"We just took a walk to the ocean, Alora. No need to worry," he says as he holds her hand reassuringly. Looking at him doing that, makes my skin crawl. She puts her other hand on her heart acting relieved. I just want to rip that mask right off her face, but instead, I fix my eyes on the floor, not being able to look at her anymore.

Calix comes out running towards us, and this whole situation looks ridiculously staged. "Well, I'm going to bed. Bye," I say smiling at all of them. My gaze lingers on Aries's a bit longer, before I turn away walking barefoot on the cold glass floor.

The hall is empty, and there are growing flowers in every corner, lighting up some parts of the long dark hall. I wonder if Aries got to know how the microphones work. Or if he just gave up on it, letting them be in peace. Maybe that's why he didn't sleep. Wondering how they worked, instead of sleeping.

I open the door to my room and change into my comfy pajamas. Curtains automatically cover the big windows and the only light comes from the flowers on my desk. I sit on the edge of my bed where he sat hours ago. The note is still there.

I hold it in my hand, looking at his perfect cursive handwriting.

I'm eating dinner with dad and your mom. You don't need to join us, I'll bring some food to you when we're done.

Instead of just sending a servant, he came himself. He apologized for something we argued about days ago. Instead of just ignoring it and move on as I would do. He probably thought of apologizing multiple times, waiting for the perfect time to do it.

What is he doing to me? I barely know him, and I still feel this unusual feeling floating all around me now. The weird thing is that he knows a lot about me, by just observing my movements. I've done the same thing, and I haven't found anything other than him hiding something deeper.

Make him fall in love with you.

I drag the duvet over my head closing my eyes.

Make him fall in love with you.

The thought continues to haunt me. Her voice continues to haunt me. I wish she could stop intruding in my head. I wish her voice could stop talking in my head. I wish she could just vanish. Leaving I and Sabrina alone in this world. Let us fix all the injustice in this world she created.

The door closes and I pull the duvet back so I can see who entered. There she stands. Her mask is now gone, and now there's just this hideous grin as she comes closer to me. My breathing quickens and I sit back up.

"Looks like you're useful anyway, " she whispers touching my chin, knowing her touch haunts me. The mascara is still there, making her look even crazier than her sick soul already is. I grit my teeth hating having her this close to my face.

"What did you guys do out there?" Her eyebrow raises expecting an answer I don't have. I look away, disgusted by her approach.

"Nothing much, I see, " she says again and comes over to the other side of my bed. Facing me again.

"Can you please leave," I almost whisper, not being able to escape the sight of her. She let out a loathsome laugh, that quickly disappears. Her expressions last one second and then they change again. She's choosing which role to play.

"You have to make him fall in love with you, Maeve!" She almost shouts waving her hands hysterically in the air. It reminds me of Calix. They're both maniacs wandering around, leading their countries.

Two maniacs leading two, big countries.

"Bring up the topic of healers. Make him change Calix's mind."

In a swift motion, she leaves the room, leaving it empty again.

As she slams the door, my mind fills with the thoughts I so badly want to escape.

"Someone help me, " I mutter to myself closing my eyes wanting to disappear.
Please.