𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬? (𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲)

36. Dancing throught nostalgia and pain

The whole school prepared for the dance that would happen in a couple weeks. I hadn't got a dress nor was I with motivation to. I hadn't even got a date but requests wasn't something that I lacked of. Not because I was who I was, but because I was now a famous contestant of the tournament and that would make them famous too.

Although being 'famous' was something that seemed like a dream it wasn't that utopia people thought it was, expecially appearing on the articles written by Rita Skeeter.

As I predicted all of my friends had dates already, George was going with Angelina, Lee with that boy he talked about... Hermione had a mysterious date tho that no one knew about.
But of course Harry and Ron couldn't fit in that list, those two were just an awkward mess.

They tried at least but everyone seemed to have a date already even Neville who people mocked for being weird, he was such a sweet guy it was a pity that people didn't saw that.

I still struggled to walk around school expecially on my own, so let's don't even talk about being alone with a date.

Why is everyone looking at me

I avoided everyone I could, expecially the one's in the yellow robes or anyone that could remind me of Malcolm.

Even tho he wasn't there anymore it's like he would be hiding in every corner, in every hallway waiting for the moment when he could appear.

Cedric became someone I couldn't be around, and I hated myself for that, he was always there for me but this time I was pushing him away.

I can't breath.

Everytime he tried to talk to me or aproach me my throat ached, it wasn't his fault and I felt guilty.

I shut down to almost everyone you could say. I hadn't energy for many people, I felt like they'd stuck it out from me.

I feel like he's always around, but then he goes and she's always around.

"Ms. Lupin are you there?" I heard Mcgonagall say as she lightly placed a hand above my shoulder.

My eyes widened and my body shivered at the sudden touch of her cold hand.

"Yes I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"

I felt awful, like a paranoid maniac. In moments like this where I felt like a crazy person, feeling all eyes on me I just wanted to throw myself off of a tower.

"Are you okay?" I noticed a ginger ask from the table in front of me, Fred, once Mcgonagall walked away.

I nodded weakly, feeling the hours of restlessness weighting on the bags below my eyes.

I also didn't get Fred. Lately it's like he had been caring about me more then before. Since that night the glances had came back, those intense stares that before fired up my heart. Was he pitying me? What was wrong? I thought he had forgot it, that we couldn't be more.

And then came that amortentia class a few weeks ago, just like I had nothing more to think about. Why did he described me? Had I jinxed myself when I wish in my deep that he would? He should've smelt Alicia, not me. I sure don't think she smelled like vinyl and firewiskey, the girl even barely drinked.

When I heard those words coming out of his mouth it was like my body froze, I couldn't even get the courage to look him in the eye and I also doubted my thoughts. But they soon were confirmed when Lee gave me a little smirk from the corner of his mouth.

I just needed time. It was all too much. I felt the hours of no sleep coming to haunt me, once again.

It was like I was relieving the Bellatrix nightmare again, but with Malcolm instead.