note: forgot to post this on here after i posted it on tumblr, so here it is.
+ can you tell my adhd is hyperfixating specifically on natasha? sorry for the lack of wanda content, neurodivergent bffs understand.
prompt: based on taylor swift's song 'ours' combined with a few lines from a show i watched awhile ago.
(aka the one where natasha stands by your side when everyone is against you.)
warnings: kinda angsty </3 ends with fluff <3
word count: 1.1k
prns: not specified i believe
. . .
you were alone. the entire mission had gone south when you ignored steve's order of standing down because you thought you could handle yourself.
(as does everyone right before it all goes to shit.)
in doing so, however, you created a domino effect in which everyone else's cover had been blown. rather than just you being at risk, the entire team was in danger.
more people than you could count ended up getting hurt, including your beloved girlfriend, who was now gifted with a silver bullet lodged in her shoulder.
natasha wasn't as injured as some of the other team members, or civilians for that matter. you, on the other hand, hardly had a mark on your body. one scrape to your cheek and upper lip and you were fine.
physically anyway.
children were scared, mothers were crying, and fathers were paralyzed. none of them would ever be the same person as they were before. their life ahead of them would consist of flashbacks, panic attacks, self destruction, and everything else that came along with post-traumatic stress disorder. they had you to thank for that.
no one could even look at you when you returned to the compound. not steve, not wanda, not tony, not even natasha.
it had been like that for weeks now. guilt burned its way up your throat every second of every day. your face had been plastered on the news for over a month, every reporter, journalist and witness all calling you a monster, demanding that you be locked up.
they even went as far as to broadcast your relationship with natasha, questioning if she could even stand to be around you after what happened. they hoped she couldn't. it was perfectly understandable if she cut things off, the world wouldn't judge her at all for it.
no one really bothered to check on you, but you didn't blame them. it was easier to tiptoe around the compound late at night when no one was awake than to remember the disappointed looks etched on their faces. so apples, toast and turkey sandwiches became your new best friends.
it wasn't until one tuesday night while you were sitting on the rooftop when natasha sat next to you. her presence startled you, but it was reassuring to know she was there.
"if you look up, you can see the leo constellation, just over there to your right." you mumbled, breaking the silence.
natasha studied you for a minute. tear tracks stained your face and your eyes were glossy, but you didn't want to cry in front of her. you had no right.
"you can't blame yourself forever."
"but i can."
"but you shouldn't," she countered.
"but i will."
"i know." her hand met yours. she offered a gentle squeeze, an unspoken call for you to look at her. when you didn't meet her gaze, she placed her fingertips on the side of your chin, forcing you to look in her direction. "i'm here now. you don't have to be alone anymore."
the second the words finished leaving her mouth, you began to sob for what felt like the billionth time. but this time was different, this time you had natasha.
the feeling of her nails scratching your back did nothing to hold back your cries. that's what natasha wanted though, for you to let out the worst of it so you finally had a chance at moving on.
when you finally calmed yourself down, you pushed yourself away from natasha, figuring that she was tired of having you lean on her.
"you should go, nat. i don't want anyone to see you with me."
"and why wouldn't you want that?" she frowned when you scoffed. "we aren't even together anymore and you know how the news is. they'll paint you out to be a piece of shit for even being around me."
"who said we aren't together?"
"well i assumed from what happened and the fact that you've been ignoring me for a month now-"
"i wasn't ignoring you." you moved to speak, but she was quick to finish her statement. "fury wanted me to try extinguish the flames, metaphorically so to speak. i wasn't able to be around here much, but believe me when i say i wanted nothing more than to comfort you as best as i could."
"but that day- when it happened- you were so angry..." she nodded. "you wouldn't speak to me. i thought you hated me like everyone else did- does."
"i was angry, yes. livid, really. what you did was incredibly stupid. you were a complete idiot that day. you knew better than to pull a stunt like that. but i never once hated you."
it was refreshing to know that at least one person - the very person you cared about more than anything - didn't hate you
"you're really great. i like you..."
"natasha-"
"or in other words, i fancy you, i love you, i want you, i can't leave you, i whatever you." your breath hitched at her words. "i want to spend the rest of my life with you."
you thought natasha was out here because she was forced to be, probably to have her turn to let you how much of a fuck up you were. you thought she'd despised and abandoned you. but what you hadn't expected was that when everyone feared and humiliated you, natasha still loved you. when everyone spurned you, loathed you, natasha stood by your side.
you could've gone into shock over the weight she lifted from your shoulders.
however, there was one flaw in her speech.
"what about you? and what the people will say and think of you now that you're still with me?"
she giggled lightheartedly, "there will always be someone who disapproves, but it's not their place to tell me who i can and cannot date. and i don't care what they say about me. i choose you. so don't worry your pretty little mind."
natasha kissed the top of your head before picking you up and carrying you into her room. her arms wrapped tightly around your figure, barely giving you leeway to breathe. you didn't mind it though.
that was the first night in over a month you'd slept warm.
. . .
wanted to add that this was probably the only fic im somewhat proud of. idk why, its just really ♡_♡ you know?
