prompt: "the quieter you became, the more i could hear you."
warnings: mentions of anxiety + written in 2018 + probably bad writing + probably doesn't make sense ?? + not proofread
might rewrite i dunno.
word count: 1k.
. . .
You were a very talkative person, and everyone enjoyed it. People loved talking to you, you knew how to carry on a conversation past the norm. It was people's favorite thing about you. And though it was a little shocking to people when they heard the infamous Black Widow laughing, they knew if it was anyone who made her laugh, it was you. The two of you built up a special relationship that no one else had.
Unfortunately, there's always a bad side to anything good. Talking was your form of being able to control something. It was you who got to lead the conversation in whatever direction you wanted. This way you got to avoid dealing with whatever was bothering you. If you were alone, or by yourself then everything would come racing back at you.
There was only one way anyone could tell anything was wrong. And that was of course the only way people thought nothing was wrong. If anything was ever wrong you would talk a little bit more than usual. It was almost unnoticeable. The only person that ever caught on was Natasha. She had an advantage, she knew how to study people's speech pattern and body behavior.
Natasha watched as you talked to Tony in the kitchen, noticing you kept tapping your glass on the side. You didn't always do that, only when you were internally battling something.
No one knew you'd been having a rough couple of days. Your mind was all over the place , rummaging around with possibilities of things that made no sense. It was driving you so crazy you were losing sleep over it.
You glanced over and saw Natasha staring at you. You gave her a small smile and went back to talking with Tony. After awhile you noticed your fingers very noticeably tapping the edge of the glass, so you decided to cut the conversation short. You knew whenever it became noticeable that you were anxious there was no coming back from it.
You made your way to your room, shutting the door and locking it so no one could come in. That night you clung tightly to your pillow, letting your fears take over your body
. . .
Over the next few days you spent all your time in your room. The others noticed, but didn't say anything. They thought you were working on something so they left you alone. Natasha on the other hand knew something was wrong. She knew you never went this long without speaking. She knew you had to talk in order to function.
Natasha found herself outside your door. She knocked lightly and twisted the doorknob only to find that it was locked. She easily picked it and found you sitting on your bed.
"Hey Y/N, it's me, Natasha." She spoke softly, not wanting to startle you.
You turned around and gave her a small smirk. "Do you always come in without my permission?" Natasha crossed her arms over her chest. "What?" You teased.
"What are you doing up here Y/N? You've been up here for days." You rolled your eyes. You knew she would be the one to push further than any other avenger.
"Really? I thought I've been up here for a few hours. Anything interesting happen with the boys? Anything new happen in the world?" You brushed off Natasha's worry and plastered on a smile. Natasha sighed and made her way closer to you. You shifted away trying to put space between the two of you, but she noticed.
"Stop." She commanded.
"What? Y'know it's my room, I'm allowed to get comfortable." You let out a nervous laugh.
"I know what you're doing Y/N, and It's not going to work with me." Your emotions were too much to handle and you knew that. Sighing, you decided it was time to give up the act. "Alright, fine, whatever." You snapped and laid down to where you weren't facing her.
"Y/N..."
"Leave." You growled, you didn't want anyone to see you like this. Especially Natasha.
A few minutes later you felt the bed move and an arm around your waist. You knew this was her way of comforting you, and you knew she didn't do this for anyone else. Only you.
"Tasha?" Your nickname for her slipped out of your mouth. You only used it when it was just the two of you. She'd kill anyone else if they ever called her that. It was a name she'd only ever allow you to use.
"I'm here." You moved your body closer to her, feeling less alone as each second passed. There were butterflies in your stomach from being this close to her, but the warmth that came from her eased your emotions.
"How did you know?" Natasha moved her face in the crook of your neck and smiled against your skin.
"The quieter you became, the more I could hear you." Her grip around your waist tightened as she spoke again. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Just been having a hard time, you know how it goes. I keep thinking bad stuff is going to happen and I know it won't, but I can feel it. I feel it in my heart and all throughout my body. I don't want to lose you." You could feel your throat tighten as you were finally talking about what was wrong. Your biggest fear was losing Natasha, you didn't know where you'd be without her.
"I'm here, Y/N. It's okay. I've got you, you're not losing me. I promise." Her voice instantly soothed your worries. Your body found its way facing her, and she immediately began stroking your hair.
Once you calmed down you looked into her eyes.
"Thank you." You quietly whispered.
"It's no problem Y/N." She stared at you for a moment and then kissed you on the lips. The both of you smiled into the kiss. And for the rest of the day the two of you stayed like that, remaining peacefully in bliss.
