Mcyt -autistic- oneshots

Wear a life jacket (Tubbo and Tommy+Ranboo)

Tubbo's POV:

We were going paddle boarding again for Tommy's vlog. We stopped off to get a meal deal and then we headed to the beach. Tommy brought his phone out to explain to the vlog what we were doing, before we sat and ate. He was determined not to wear a life jacket. I was determined that he was going anywhere near a paddle board with me, if he didn't have one on. It was dangerous. And my parents had always told me to where a life jacket even if I could swim. It was the rules, and a Tommy wasn't following them. And that made me anxious.

"I don't need a life jacket."

"You do. You do. You do need a life jacket. Wear a life jacket. Genuinely, you are going to wear one right?" Tommy was sarcastic a lot, and was never very good at getting it right.

"No!" He wasn't being sarcastic, so I started to get more upset. But the camera was on, so I couldn't show it. 

I tried finding my words. "No you wear a life jacket. Dude, yes, you should. You should 100% wear a life jacket..." They were saying things and it was getting hard to keep up, I was trying to tell them they should, because I didn't want either of them to get hurt or drown. I just kept saying it over and over, bringing my knees up to my chest, and putting my fingers in my ears. "You need to wear a life jacket."

"Tubbo. I'm fine, I don't need to wear a life jacket, I can swim." I saw him put his phone down. Ranboo had his mask on so I didn't know what he was feeling, but Tommy looked confused. "Tubbo stop repeating yourself. I don't need to wear a life jacket."

"Fine, but what if you drown? What if you get eaten by a shark? What if you hit your head on something?"

"None of that's going to happen. I'll be fine."

"And I hate to tell you Tubbo. But if Tommy gets eaten by a shark, I'm not sure the life jacket is going to be much help?"

"Not the point!" I was getting angry and I didn't want to be angry around them, so I stood up and walked off. I walked down the beach for a while, and then moved down to the water. It was calming, and it was better than worrying about Tommy not wearing a life jacket.

"Tubbo? Are you okay?"

"I don't want to talk right now."

"I get that, but Tommy is worried. If he agrees to wear a life jacket, will you come sit back down."

"I've not walked off because I wanted to get my own way. I've walked off because I was getting angry and I didn't want to lose control around you 2. You and Tommy can do what you like, it's not as if I actually care for my friends or anything. I'm not hungry, just throw my food away before a seagull eats it."

"I'll leave you for a bit. I'll be back in 10 minutes. Maybe we can talk then." I just hummed. I didn't want to talk. So when Ranboo had walked a considerable distance away, I started walking down the beach, getting to the end, and walking to where Jack and I had sorted out the boat for one of my vlogs. There was a bench up there, so I sat down and got my phone out.

Being autistic sucked sometimes. All I wanted was to go paddle boarding. But unless people followed the rules, my brain wouldn't let me do it. And now I was overwhelmed, and upset with myself for shouting and being grumpy. I wished my social skills were better; Tommy was a very sarcastic person, and I didn't want him to change just for me, but it made things difficult. My phone was ringing, it was Ranboo. He was probably wondering where I was. I didn't answer it. All I wanted to do now was go home. It was a long walk, but I didn't care. I would walk it if it meant avoiding the embarrassment of my parents picking me up from another social event, and also meant I got out of said social event. Someone recognised me and asked for a picture, so I plastered some kind of smile on my face, and tried my best to act normally.

I sat back down and someone sat back down next to me. "Tubbo. You scared me. I went back and you had just gone." I hummed. "Why are you so upset? Tommy was only saying it so much for a joke."

"Well, I didn't know he was joking, okay! My stupid autistic and dyslexic brain doesn't work well enough for me to do anything."

"Tubbo. It does, but the things you are good at are just things that don't come up a lot."

"You sound like my parents."

"I'm taking that as a bad thing. Anyway, Tommy said he's sorry, and..."

"And I already told you, I don't care what Tommy does."

"Well, I think from your reaction, you probably do." I stayed silent, I didn't want to talk. I stood up and walked off. I was ready to go home. "Where are you going?"

"Home."

"No you aren't. Your parents would kill me and Tommy, if we let you do that." I turned round, to face him, he was still a couple metres away.

"You aren't here to babysit me. You aren't here to try and convince me to eat something today, despite the fact I can't, because I'm so overwhelmed that the thought of food makes me feel ill. That's my parents job. My sisters' job. Everyone else who is supposed to be my friend, that's their job. Because everyone I'm ever friends with becomes a carer! Someone I have to rely on, but they never rely on me, because I can't support anyone! Because I don't have the stupid social skills! I'm like a little kid amongst adults, and everyone treats me like it too! And it's not their fault, and if it's not their fault, then it has to be mine. Because the rules state that it's always someone's fault. You just have to find out who the someone is. And the someone is me! It's stupid me, who gets angry with their friends for no reason. Stupid me, who just wants to be at home. Stupid me, who just wanted you to be my friend, except you're another person who's turned into a carer. And there isn't a way to fix that problem. Because the worst part about all of this is that I need people to look after me. If it weren't for you, I'd be walking home right now. Even though it's dangerous. I have to have the one thing I hate more than anything."

"Do you want a hug?"

"No. I want to film Tommy's vlog for him. Mask the entire time, and seem happy, so that he doesn't get worried. And then I want to go home and sleep. Please."

"I reckon we can do that. You want to go back to Tommy?" I just hummed again, and walked past Ranboo, down to where we had all been sat before. Tommy started apologising but I said it was fine. We sorted out the paddle board, and then I went out on it, leaving Tommy to sort himself out. Ranboo started filming, and I made sure it looked like I was enjoying myself. I was because I like paddle boarding, but I was still angry, overwhelmed and wanting to go home.

We finished filming, I packed the paddle board away. And shoved it in my Dad's car as he pulled up. I got in, and shut my eyes. People were talking, but I made no efforts to listen or communicate back. Life wasn't always going to be like this. It's full of ups and downs. But that doesn't make the downs any easier. It just means that that day I slept for nearly 14 hours, and woke up in the same bad mood as I had gone to sleep in. That's what being overwhelmed from being in your own bedroom, gets you.

A/n Hey. Thank you so much for reading. Sorry for such an angsty one, but you know, frustrating day. It happens, I'll be fine. And you'll be fine too. Life gets better, and it gets worse again and then it gets better again. It's sort of how it works, and that sucks. But there isn't much you can do. Hope you got some kind of comfort from this, and I wish you a better day than the one I'm having.

Thank you,

Tag