Mcyt -autistic- oneshots

Mum and Dad don't get it (Tommy and Wilbur)

No disrespect to Tommy's parents, I'm sure they are lovely and would be very understanding in this situation, just a story!

Tommy's POV:

I've always been weird. Most people don't like me, funnily enough, most people find me annoying at first and that feeling doesn't change over time. I do things which don't make sense and I have to do them in specific ways. There are things I physically cannot deal with and things I will be so invested in, that I lose track of time. I'm pretty sure there was a reason for all of it, but when I've tried to tell anyone, they didn't really understand.

I think I was 9 when I first realised that everyone else had social skills naturally. Like they didn't have to think about it properly. I told my friends but they thought I was joking, so I told my teacher. She told me to stop being silly and making things up. I didn't really know what to think so I just assumed I wasn't normal and that I couldn't change it. That was the first time I really felt like a problem. I always felt different, but from that point onwards, it felt like a bad difference.

I was 11 when I next made a fuss about it. I tried to tell my parents that I didn't feel like everyone else, I felt different to them. Do you want to know their answer? 'Everyone's different.' Well yea, that's how it works, but when you compared me to my peers at school, I was different. None of the other kids put their fingers in their ears for the fire alarm, or got upset when we had a substitute teacher. And still, everyone else dealt with social situations very naturally, whereas I got 'robot boy' as a nickname. How was I supposed to talk to a person I had never met before? I didn't even know I sounded like a robot!

All of that continued throughout secondary school. YouTube and Twitch became my new obsessions and I just tried to forgot most people existed. Every time I tried to talk about me feeling different, I was told everyone was different. Slowly it just invalidated my feelings to the point where I stopped talking about them. I bottled everything up until I had a meltdown, got sent home and had to take some time off school. Only for any doctors to tell my parents it was because I was a teenager, or a lack of vitamins, or too much screen time or because I was attention seeking.

It was only when I went to college that I realised I might be autistic. A friend I made had ADHD and knew loads of stuff about all of it. I was fiddling with a pen which I had been doing since we started using pens at primary school and they asked about stimming. I didn't even know what stimming was at that point, but it reminded me things I used to do. My grandparents would tell me off for rocking and my parents would get annoyed when I said the same word or phrase over and over again. Kids at school would call me weird if I did laps of the school playground instead of playing. And teachers used to tease me about when I shook my hands around after washing them. To me, that all sounded like stimming. So I looked into ADHD.

With the help of my friend I looked at the traits online and worked some stuff out. But it didn't feel right. That's when my friend mentioned autism. At first, I didn't think I could ever be autistic. I assimilated too well into society, I had friends! I've been autistic my whole life, but I've also had a completely warped perception of autism my whole life. In fact, everyone around me has shared that warped perception. Techno and I had talked once or maybe even twice about ADHD, but I didn't personally know any autistic people. Well, I knew kids at school and there were a few at college, but no one I really know.

So I'm pretty sure I'm autistic. I mean I don't know, I don't have a diagnosis, and Mum and Dad don't exactly seem keen on me getting one. But I have a lot of autistic traits. I still mask a lot though. The only time I don't really mask is when I'm alone, or maybe in a call with some friends. Recently, I built up the confidence to stop masking in front of the whole of sleepy bois inc. I mean I unmasked around Tubbo loads, and on the odd occasion Techno and I had talked. But the only person I had really unmasked around was Wilbur and it wasn't through choice.