Mcyt -autistic- oneshots

Aaaaaaaaah! Pt.2 (Tubbo and Ranboo+Tommy)

Ranboo's POV:

We managed to time it just right so that it was only a minute wait between arriving at our bus stop, and the bus arriving there too. We each bought our tickets and moved to the back of the bus. The other 2 pulled their masks on, Tubbo fidgeting with his for a few minutes. Tommy sat in front of us, meanwhile Tubbo fidgeted whilst sitting beside me. "You good?"

"Mhm."

"It's fine if you're not."

"I'm fine." He answered, not turning from the window. He was rocking now, cracking his knuckles as he did so. People on the bus started staring, Tommy did what he had taken to be his job, and gave them death stares back. Tubbo always called him a angry chihuahua when he did it. I just checked my phone, hoping that if Tubbo needed some help, he would ask for it. And that the bus journey would go quicker than it had been.

I watched Tommy turned round in my peripheral vision. "Ranboo?" 

"Yea?" I looked up from my phone. His eyes drifted towards Tubbo; I just nodded, letting him know I was already aware that Tubbo wasn't doing great. "Tubbo? What's up?"

"Just overwhelmed."

"That's okay. You want a hug, or some quiet time?" He shrugged his shoulders, turning his attention back to the window. At least he had stopped cracking his knuckles. I looked back and Tommy who still had a concerned expression on his face.

The rest of the journey was met with silence from our group. Tommy and I would share glances before returning our eyes to our phones. Tubbo kept rocking, eventually tapping his fingers lightly on his leg. I knew he was overwhelmed, but he didn't seem to be having a sensory overload. Normally, during one of those, he would react to every small sound, movement, change in anything. They all hurt enough for him to physically show it. But this time, he just looked off into the distance, stimming and pretending Tommy and I didn't exist. It was kind of confusing, I was still new to learning about autism. Tommy knew more than me, but he said that he hadn't seen Tubbo like this in person, just on calls. It was a mess. And none of us knew how to fix it. But I had a phone on me, and a lot of time. So google was at my fingertips.

Tubbo's POV:

I kind of knew what was happening. I was having a shut down. Instead of a sensory overload, my body was completely shutting everything off. I noticed the fact I couldn't really talk anymore, and felt bad that I couldn't explain to Ranboo and Tommy what was actually going on. Everything was a mess, and instead of worrying about how to fix it, my brain just put all my thoughts in a grey space I didn't understand. I kind of felt like I was floating, like my hands weren't really mine. And no amount of cracking my knuckles would change that stupid feeling.

The bus stopped and before Ranboo could even turn to me to make sure I had realised we were going, I was getting ready to get off. I trundled behind Ranboo and Tommy, both of whom were evidently worried about me. I knew it, I just couldn't change it.

The sun was setting, there was a wind in the air, but it was still warm. We hopped off the bus and marched our way down onto the beach. It was quiet, they really weren't a lot of people out. I liked it that way. That's the one thing about shut downs, you just get so stuck in your head. And being stuck in your head is either really good or really bad.

For me, it either makes me overthink, which just sends me into a meltdown. Or on very rare occasions, it gives me a chance to process everything and become very calm and content. Luckily, this was one of those rare occasions. And as Tommy and Ranboo searched for a place they wanted to sit down, I was just happy to find my phone and AirPods in my pocket. Sure I was still a little overwhelmed, but it was nothing my stim music couldn't fix. What I needed was to get all my energy out, and that's what I did.

"You can take your mask off Tubbo." Tubbo looked at me with a sympathetic expression. I just ripped off my mask, shoving it into my hoodie pocket before tearing that off too and chucking it to the floor. They probably thought I was so overwhelmed that I was having a violent meltdown, no wonder I heard them sigh of relief when they saw me smiling.

It took me a minute for my brain to kick into a high enough working level so that I could play my music but eventually, I managed it. "You okay Tubso?" I replied with a large smile and two big thumbs up as I sat down on the sand next to them. I took off my shoes and socks before rolling up my jeans.

"Tubbo, you can stim in a minute, can I ask a few questions first? You can use your phone to talk." I was just about to get up, but I was aware that my sudden switch in mood my be a little concerning, so I opened the notes app on my phone. "Were you overwhelmed earlier?" I just nodded. "Okay, are you okay now?" A nod once more. "Were you in a shutdown earlier?" One more nod. "And you're stimming now because?" I just shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm happy though. Shutdown protected my noggin'." Tommy laughed at my choice of words and I gave them both a massive smile before putting my second AirPod in, my phone on top OJ my jumper, and started head banging to my music. Head banging turned in to walking back and forth on my tip toes, scrunching the sand between my feet. And that turned in to holding my hands up towards the sun set and watching the patterns it all made. I was happy and calm and full of energy. The world could have ended and I wouldn't have minded. But inside my head a small ball of worry and sadness and anxiety was building, and in that little part, it felt like the world was truly ending.

Tommy's POV:

Ranboo and I talked quietly as we watched our friend dance about on the beach. The horizon played backdrop to the patterns he was making. It was quite cool to see. You never got to see Tubbo really let himself be like that.

"Do you think he's ok Ranboo?"

"Yes, he's fine right now."

"You say that like he won't be later?"

"He won't be later Tommy. Tubbo never really has shutdowns without meltdowns. Shutdowns are his brains way of protecting himself, but the cause doesn't go away. It just builds until he can't deal with it anymore." Google has been very helpful, that and the sudden remembering of a previous shutdown Tubbo had had.

"But he was overwhelmed, and now we aren't in the overwhelming place?"

"The cause might go, but the feeling doesn't. Just gets pushed down apparently."

"Ah, well, I'm not going to think about all that. He's happy now."

"Oh, he's at his happiest now! It kinda sucks, like with a sugar crash. He's gonna crash later, and the higher he is now, the worse it will be."

"He looks pretty happy to me."

"Yea, that's what I'm worried about."

"You don't fill me with confidence."

"I shouldn't."

"What do we do then?"

"We let Tubbo's dad know that we are going to need a lift home in a few hours."

"Why?"

"If I tell you, you'll want to go home now. And then Tubbo won't get a chance to be this happy."

"Then let's just leave it."

"You ever get jealous of him doing this?"

"Nope, because you've just said what happens next."

"Ah good, you agree with me."

"Plus, I don't think jealous is the right word. I'm interested as to what he's saying and thinking and feeling right now. But I don't want to actually feel any of it. From what he describes, what happens later is horrible."

"It's horrible for us. Let alone for him."

"Mhm." I paused. "You know, we actually have quite good conversations."

"I'm glad you think so."

"We should have more of these."

"We should." We both sighed with the knowledge of what was going to happen next. Then our eyes were distracted by the sunset, and our friend running along in front of it.

A/n Hey. Thank you so much for reading. Early upload woooo! What do you think of the philosophical conversations Tommy and Ranboo have in this story? And how was your day today? (Vent if need be, I understand, life just sucks sometimes.)