Mcyt -autistic- oneshots

No, I'm not having a panic attack pt.3 (Tommy and James+Wilbur)

TW-blood

Wilbur's POV:

I stood outside James' door, bouncing on my toes and looking anxiously at the time on my phone. It was opened, "he's in the kitchen." I rushed past James, not even caring to take my coat or shoes off. Tommy was curled up on the floor, blood on his arm, tear tracks on his face, hands cupped to his ears, I'd never seen him so upset. I'd never seen the aftermath of one of his meltdowns look so bad. I sat down on the floor, a little distance away from him.

"Hey king. I'm right here whenever you want me." Tommy looked at me rapidly before crawling up from the floor and straight over to me. He partially collapsed into my lap, and clung on to my coat. I rubbed one hand on his back, the other gently running fingers through his hair. "You're okay. I'm here, nothing can hurt you now. I got you."

"I'm not okay Will." He mumbled through his tears and the fabric of my coat. It was a little wet from some rain, but it didn't seem to bother him.

"Maybe you aren't quite yet, but I promise you, you will be. I'm here, and so are loads of your friends, and your mum and dad are going to get here this weekend, and we all want to help."

"I thought I didn't need the help. I thought I was old enough, independent enough. I wanted to be. I'm fed up of being the little kid!" He didn't cry as much now, instead he spoke in a low, gravely tone like when you lose your voice. He didn't seem upset or even angry, more numb than anything, which wasn't exactly good. But I understood what he had said, we had talked about it before. I didn't have that many friends at secondary school, but Tommy did. He just always felt younger than them, less mature. He was constantly treated like he was wrapped in bubble wrap, both by his parents and friends. They didn't mean to, they just really cared about him.

And I did really feel for him. At his age, I was just finishing school and getting ready to plan my first backpacking trip. The standards he held himself to were so high and if he didn't meet them, he considered himself to be nothing more than a failure. And that idea was built into his brain; no matter what you said, you couldn't change that.

"I get it. But you've got time, you don't have to do everything now, this second, this minute. Take a breather, work it all out. The world will wait."

"Thanks Will, but we both know it won't." He pulled his head from my chest and repositioned himself to be sat next to me, hands pulling his knees to his chest. He looked aimlessly at the wall in front of us as we talked.

"Maybe the world won't wait, but the people who care about you will."

"Really?"

"Everyone needs time to process and plan, and just take a break. There's no shame."

"I know, I just. It doesn't even matter."

"It matters to me, what were you going to say?"

"It's just, I've really matured recently and I thought maybe I'd matured enough so that I would be able to live alone."

"And if everything had gone right, and just how we expected it to, you would probably be okay right now. But things didn't go right, they went very wrong."

"I know they went wrong. And I'm sorry for hurting you so much Will. I did try to leave to stop it from happening."

"Look, I won't deny that it affected me. It did. I was worried about you, and worried about what might happen if I couldn't help. But I would have never turned you away Tommy, you know that right?"

"I just cared about how you felt."

"Well that just proves how good of a person you are. You were hurting, big time, and yet you still cared about how others felt."

"How on earth does the autistic kid manage that?" He looked up at me with a smile, I replied with a smile and pulling him into my shoulder.

"Because you're one pretty amazing, autistic kid," I whispered.

"Thanks Will." He scratched his arm slightly. There was dried blood everywhere, and I could even see some fresh blood coming through.

"Here I'll get you a tissue." I stood up, grabbing some kitchen roll and wetting it slightly with the tap. I caught a glimpse of James in the doorway but didn't make an effort to talk to him just yet. "There you go."

"Thanks," he replied, wiping the red liquid from his arm and wincing slightly with pain.

"I can tell just from your arm that today's was a bad one."

"Worse one I've ever had, maybe?"

"Well, that makes you even more stronger then."

"Will, you're starting to sound like one of those stupid audios my mum showed me, please."

"Alright, alright, I'll stop." I said, laughing slightly.

"Hey, so I can give you a towel and if you'd like, you can take a shower Tom?"

"Yes please James." I followed Tommy out the kitchen and hung up my coat, putting my shoes away also as James showed Tommy how the shower worked.

Resting on the sofa, I pulled out my phone and looked through some emails. I could leave them for another time, but I wanted to read through them to get an idea first. Plus, I needed something to get my mind off Tommy. James walked back into the room. "You good?"

"Yea, yea, I'm fine. You?"

"Alright, just really didn't know how to help. I was completely out of my league with it all."

"It's fine, most are. Even I am some days."

"Was that what he was saying about hurting you?"

"Sort of. Tommy never hurt me. But he was having daily, if not several times a day, meltdowns when he stayed with me. He simply couldn't cope with anything, but he was desperate to not let his parents know. The last thing he wanted to do was let someone down, or at least that's how he saw it. But helping someone like I just did in your kitchen, up to 3 times a day is exhausting, and I'm not exactly in the best place at the moment either. I love Tommy, and I really do care for him, but I can only do so much."

"Well, you do more than most. And I'm sure Tommy appreciates it."

"Yea. Anyway, I'll ask if he wants to stay the night at mine. He probably won't want to sleep at a place he's never slept before."

"What about the temperature?"

"Well, I like the house cold, but not quite as cold as he makes out. Most of it's a bit for his stream. I'll be sure to give him a proper blanket and duvet this time though. I bought them earlier, just in case something happened and he ended up with me again."

"He's a good kid."

"Yea, and an even better friend."

"Can't disagree with that one."

"Very few can, and those who do are liars." I smiled back at James. The only sound that filled the room was the shower running and James' cat Otto, meowing. I would talk to Tommy about healthy coping strategies, that weren't scratching his arm. And get him to talk to his parents about a more suitable flat than the one he was in. But he was an adult, he sort of knew what he was doing. And if he ever needed my help, I would be more than happy to give it. But Tommy is mature and independent. Far more than most give him credit for. And far more than he'll ever actually believe. I suppose it's all a part of his charm. The stupid TommyInnit charm.

A/n Hey. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading. Out of interest, what are your favourite stories of mine to read (favourite idea, character, or mini series)? Let me know. Also, let me know how your day was today? I'm sure you aced it no matter what, cause you're cool and valid, and everything is gonna be ok!

Thank you.