Scars|| r. lupin

Sixth Year; Chapter two

A/N: this is an emotionally roller coaster, just a heads up

also comment people, pleaseeeeeee pretty please comment

I'm freakin begging you people, comment PLEASEEEEE pretty pleaseeeee

I don't know what tone to set in the next chapter if I don't know what you're feeling 😭
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It only hurts while you're piercing through the skin, but after that the pain is almost nonexistent.

Pain, pain to him was like the cold, at first it stings and burns and Godric, it hurts like hell when you're drowning in it but after a bit, it calms down and makes you feel numb. Pain to him was like the cold, yes, what an excellent way to put it.

Although he didn't believe that this was a good idea at first, he was catching on quite quickly.

James had woken the four of them up at the crack of dawn (he hadn't woken Y/n up, she'd merely been in the common room when they'd decided to go) while everyone else was sleeping so they could get a taste of the fresh air. But his idea of 'tasting the fresh air' had nothing to do with getting out and basking in the cool mid-morning, spring breeze, it had something to do with jumping half naked into the lake at 7:00 in the morning.

It was bloody freezing.

Oh he loved it.
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Sirius was shaking his head off like a dog, spraying them all in water, when they were confronted by Professor McGonagall in the hall.

Her talking to had nearly frightened Remus half to death, although he hadn't a clue why.

She wasn't all too upset with them, the fact that Remus was shirtless and was smiling like a little lad on his birthday with all his scars on display was no doubt part of the reason why they weren't in all too much trouble. That, and the fact that they all were positively bursting with laughter likely had something to do with it.

Stern looks and a mild warning we're probably the only thing they'd gotten. It wasn't much of a talking to.

Remus didn't know why he was so affected, they'd been let off of a nonexistent hook and had gotten to keep the plate of cookies they'd taken from the kitchen.
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People always think that when you say 'I'm in pain' you mean something physical, which of course you could mean something physical, but pain is something more than just physical aches and wounds. Pain is something exquisite, pain is something you should never cherish, although he always seemed to.

To be honest, pain is like a- what was the word- a ghost, pain was like a ghost in many ways, definitely more ways than one; pain could simply be phantom, pain could be like a hacked limb and it could ache and ache and absolutely ache for months on end, but the worst pain of all, Remus found, was the type of pain that you don't notice at first, that was like a faraway echo, that was like a caress to the skin.

The worst pain of all is the pain that's always been there, because you get used to it and you're adjusted to the unbearable throbbing and the pounding of the pain against your skin and your heart and you don't even notice that it's there until it's been ripped away and it feels like you're an empty husk drifting in the night.

That type of pain, he found, was the worst and absolute best all in one. Because when some other unforseeable factor ripped it away from him, it always came back, always made him feel full again, always became unbearable and untreatable and simply maddening.