Scars|| r. lupin

Year Six; Chapter Five

" Oh, Remus, what are you doing here so early?" Y/n was startled to see Remus John Lupin awake at seven a.m. on a Saturday morning, let alone awake and in the school library. She squinted her eyes and looked at his face, the bags under his eyes had increased majorly and his entire body drooped with exhaustion.

She reached a hand out and smoothed it down on one of his shoulders, flattening her palm so her hand engulfed his shoulder. She felt shudders go down his body at the contact and paused, frowning. " Remus, what's wrong?" He sighed and brought an arm up to run through his hair, he truly looked exhausted, " I don't really know Y/n, Lily just wanted me to check and see if you're okay because of some stupid cleaning spree or something." He scowled at the floor, despising lily for dragging him out of bed so early in the morning. He was so concentrated on his brooding that he didn't noticed Y/n come closer until her hand was resting on his cheek, pulling him from his stoper. He dragged his gaze from the floor until he met her eyes, she looked worried as hell and it scared him so he did what any logical, sleep-deprived sixteen year old would do, he closed his eyes and shook his head.

" So yeah if you could just talk to her about that at some point today, that would be great. Anyways if that's all-" He yawned, a great terrible thing and smacked his lips together absentmindedly, forgetting about the sentence he was trying to finish. Y/n's frown only deepened at this, and then she was bringing her hands down to grasp his, her voice was a soft, fragile thing when she spoke, her words tearing his bleary eyes open, " Remus are we still dating?" He came to with a start and tried to yank his hands away to rub at his eyes, too tired to have this conversation, but she wouldn't let him take his hands away from her own. He blinked at her, trying to figure out how serious she was being but didn't find a trace of humor in her gaze. He tugged her closer and wrapped his arms around her, sleepily leaning his head against her shoulder, " f'course love."

They stood like that for a moment before she pushed him back and rested a palm against his chest, trying to peer into his eyes, " It doesn't feel like we are." _______________________________________

Her sentence started him and he found himself coming back into focus, the edges of sleep drifting away from his eyes. His mind came ablaze with panic but before he even had a chance to voice any of those concerns, she spoke out again, " Remus, a relationship consists of two or more people who love and take care of each other." She paused and looked up at him, his hands coming to envelope hers, and his mind stilled, panic dying down. He didn't know what to think, " Remus, in our relationship it's been a whole awful lot of you taking care of me," she stood on her tiptoes and brought her hands out of his grasp to cup his face, " baby, you need to let me take care of you. Your eyes are bloodshot, you've got worry lines written all over your face, your posture is tense enough to suggest you haven't slept in days and you haven't let me hold you in weeks."

His hands came up to hold her wrists just like hers did those many weeks ago, and he deflated in her hold, his entire façade coming undone. He didn't know she could break his heart twice in two minutes and put it back together that fast but she did, and now he didn't know what to do. Y/n stared up at him, eyes glistening at the pain in his face, " baby let me take care of you."

____________________________________________________

She took him down to one of the prefect bathrooms and they got into one of those private little bathtub rooms together, she vaguely remembered him leading her down there one year and took the reigns instantly. Y/n filled the porcelain tub with water lavender soap to calm him down and then gathered some towels and soaps before she turned around on her stool by the lip of the tub to find Remus standing by the door, unsure of what to do. He was so confronted, on one end he knew exactly what she was doing and desperately wanted to give in and let her help him but on the other end he saw her father giving him all those cold looks, punching him in the face, calling him a mutt, he kept on seeing her face at James's when he'd tried to mask her laughter from Sirius and ended up scaring the living daylights out of her instead, and he just wanted to cry knowing he couldn't let himself come near her.