Some Sugar and Honey (Boy X Boy)

Chapter 34 - Inner Workings

Things grew a little more awkward for us as we were stuck in the tent. I mean, either of us could have left if we wanted, but I guess it didn't occur to either of us to do that.

     I knew if I kept pushing him to tell me what he was going to say, I could feel that if I kept pushing, things were going to get stressful; complicated. But I did it anyway.

We sat in total darkness, illuminated only by the light from Maddox's phone. Maddox had pulled out another sandwich and was squeezing it softly between his fingers before he shakily put it to his lips.

     "Ya know... Dame? How 'bout we just get to sleep for now. I mean, aren't you excited? Fat ass like me right in your reach~?" he had slowly reached over to me as he spoke, poking me in the arm.

     "Mm... I just want to know what has you so worried." He looked at me like he was confused. "Whatever this question is, it's bothering you. So if it will help, I want you to ask it. Get it over with."

     His expression seemed to stiffen, his eyes looked worried and his brows furrowed. He took a breath, letting his posture loosen.

     He remained silent for a few seconds before taking another breath and turning to me, finishing up his sandwich.

     "Dame.... if I ask, will you give me a 100% honest answer?"

     I couldn't speak for a moment. After gathering my nerves I nodded, unsure if he saw I also responded with a flat, "Yes."

     He nodded as well, though he slowly came to a stop.

     Clearing his throat, he began squirming about a bit. His hands tapped on the back of his phone and his eyes looked at anything but me.

     "So... Dame. I, ya know, I didn't want to say anything so soon, that's... ya know, why I decided not to say anything earlier." he shrugged before clearing his throat again and continuing. "It's just... I mean, I want you to be honest, like I said! I won't be mad or anything... I just... I want to know... what do you.... what do you think of me?" He cleared his throat one more time before looking at me.

     My stomach turned a little.

     "W-what I think of you? I already said..."

     "N-no, I don't mean like that. I mean... how do you... feel about me?" he took in a deep breath, held it for a bit and then let it out before tagging on one more thing, "Like... do you... ya know... like me...?"

     My body grew hot, really hot.

     'Like'? He doesn't mean... like that does he? Is he asking... is he asking me if I have a crush on him?!

     "I-i... huh?" My throat tensed up, it felt hard to swallow and my stomach was doing flips. I actually thought I was going to pass out, or get sick. Maybe even both.

     "I asked you to be honest so... if you could...." he ran a hand through his hair, I could hear him taking deep breaths but, slowly they subsided and quieted down.

     I know he asked me to be honest, but I was too scared. I didn't want to lie though, not to him. If I lied once, would he question everything else? I mean, he wouldn't have asked this if it wasn't obvious, right? If I denied it, he would know I was lying.

     "I... I mean..." I wiped my eyes before finishing, "I... y-yeah... yeah." I cleared my throat now. I could feel how I had unconsciously folded over a little.