Some Sugar and Honey (Boy X Boy)

Chapter 16 - Reliance

      The words struck me hard.  Despite Maddox's casual, trickster tone, the words themselves left me feeling ill.  Despite the fact that Maddox hadn't explained what was exposed, I still knew right away what he meant, and just that was enough to leave me wanting to fall to my knees and hide.

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      "E-e... exposed?"  I did my best to swallow my fear and hide the trembling in my voice.  Maddox only snorted as he lie calmly on my bed.  

"Yeah, you know what I mean, don'cha, bud?"  He chuckled playfully, cringing a bit.  Probably from eating too much.  I sucked on my lower lip a bit, I wasn't ready to give in yet.  Actually, I just wasn't ready to tell him yet, but it was beginning to seem like I wouldn't have a choice soon.  "Y'know, I would prefer hearing you admit it with your own words, but if I have to point it out to you then I just might!" he whistled boredly, looking up to the ceiling now.  I tried to keep my composure calm and together, but Maddox, everything about him was making this difficult.

"W-what... do you want me to admit?" I threw my hands roughly into my pockets, keeping my eyes to the floor, probably only proving his suspicions further.  Maddox rose a brow at me, his smirk not faltering in the least.  He sighed, "You know, or should I play around a bit more, it's actually kinda fun... not including the getting sick part."  He began to trail off, muttering something about macaroni.  I knew exactly what he was talking about.  Though he obviously knew, it didn't really seem to bother him, this made me grow suspicious myself.  Was he really okay with that?  Was he just acting like this to get me to say it?

"Mmm..." I wanted to tell him now, I really did but there was something in me keeping me from saying it, so instead, I wanted him to do it for me.  "If you... really know what you're saying you know... then tell me what it is."  I could just barely get my eyes to stay on him for once, it was kind of weird.  

He looked at me with an expression of surprise, though soon after it changed to one of understanding.  "Hey, Dame."  He slowly sat up, looking as if he was struggling to do so, his expression almost appeared pained.  I assumed he was never planning on over-stuffing himself that much again.  Appearing out of breath and resting his arms over his legs, he started again, "Mmm, y'know..."  He looked up to me, a kinder form of his usual smile upon his round cheeks.  "I thought for a while you seemed a bit, no offense but, weird."  I lost my sudden desire to be in the same room with him right then.  No offense?  Does that really ever work? 

"L-like I said, no offense intended, bud.  But what I mean is, I thought you kinda seemed like... err, I dunno, is a chubby chaser the right term for it?" I gulped roughly, my heart pounded harder when the word was spoken.

"Ch-chubby chaser?"  He seemed to glance from one part of the room to the other, then back to me, nodding in return.  "J-just a thought, y'know?"  He rose his arms up as if in defense.  "You just seemed a bit..."  He stopped himself sharply, his face said he was feeling wary of what I would do if he continued.

To be honest, I didn't consider myself a, quote, chubby chaser.  I never had.  I mean, that just seemed... odd to me.  I was always attracted to slimmer figures, never too buff but just the perfect amount of muscle, then out of the blue, THIS happens?  That couldn't be right.  This made me think, I wasn't always like this right?  But if so, how could this have happened?  I held my hand in a fist and placed it over my mouth, turning away from Maddox.  If he thought this about me though, I began thinking, did he always think I was so weird?  For how long?

      Eventually, I snapped out of my thoughts as Maddox called me.  "'Eyy, you okay there?  I didn't... break you, did I?" he chuckled nervously, eyes seeming to be on alert.  I began to feel bad, sure, this was something that made me feel... awkward to say the least, but it seemed to make Maddox feel like the bad guy here.