Some Sugar and Honey (Boy X Boy)

Chapter 6 - Restoration

     Very few people, none to be more exact, probably expected this, I didn't.  I highly doubt people even expected this sudden turn off in Maddox's normally proud, charismatic personality, leaving him introverted and gloomy.  It was honestly rather disheartening in my opinion.  I enjoyed seeing him in such high spirits and this left me with such a pain in my heart to watch.  It also left me extremely curious to know what happened throughout those 15 days he was away. 

      After our conversation in the library things changed.  Far from the norm he began sticking closer to me, he started talking to me again and most of all, he wouldn't even look at his old group.  From all these odd things going on I felt like I was in the dark.  I didn't know what I was in the dark from, but there was something going on that I wanted to know.

      By the time lunch arrived, I had spoken with Maddox more than I speak to my parents on a daily basis.  I wondered if he even considered that hanging around me like this would, one, ruin his image and, two make me suspicious. 

"Hey, Damon?"  I flinched a bit, turning to him as I set my bag down on the floor by my seat.  "You don't mind if I sit with you?"  His expression was bored, like my answer wasn't too important to him.  Again, I found this odd.  I sat quietly, as if debating on an answer, but actually trying to pull apart the events from today to figure out what's going on.  "Um... I never mind."  I chuckled.  He nodded and set his stuff next to mine, taking the seat next to me.

"Thanks."  He watched me from the corner of his eye as he spoke.  I tried to smile cheerfully to him.

"No problem.  You can sit here anytime you want."  I looked away, rubbing my hands on my thighs as I felt my cheeks burn.  We sat in silence for a few seconds before Maddox spoke up again.  "I don't mean this... but yeah, thanks for this too."  I looked over to him.  He was staring at his original table.  Jason and the others were chatting like normal, laughing and grinning to each other like you normally see friends do.  This severely made me question what was going on.  

"Umm..."  I could only utter the one sound, unsure of what I should have been saying or doing in reaction to this.  "Are you... okay?"  I felt my heart pound nervously as I managed to get the words out.  Maddox turned to me with a look of confusion.  

"Yeah, I'm okay."  He still looked bored and that concerned me.  Before I could say anything, it was time to go up and get our lunch.  I stood slowly, making sure I didn't trip again.  Maddox didn't seem like he was going to get up, which worried me as well.  "Are you coming?"  He looked at me like I was some strange, new creature.

"Y...yeah, I guess so."

      The whole time we were up at the lunch line he wore a look of worry, concern.  I couldn't really comprehend what was making him so uncomfortable, but I wanted to know.  

By the time we got back to the table, I had decided I needed to ask him, no matter what.  As luck would have it, though, he had the same idea.

"Damon."  I opened my mouth as I was about to speak, but closed it immediately.  I nodded, not feeling the effort to open my mouth again.  "Do you have any friends?"  I felt my heart drop into my stomach.  I was never expecting to be asked this, especially from him.  We sat in silence for a few seconds before I could get myself to say anything.  "What?"  I tried smiling but my eyebrows arched upwards making me look frightened, like usual.

"I was just wondering..."  He wasn't looking at me as he spoke, instead his attention was on his plate of sauce covered pasta.  Though this was true, he wasn't actually touching his plate, he was just looking at it.  "I was just wondering if you had any friends.  Online?"  I slowly began shaking my head "no".  

"Outside of school?"  I shook my head again.  He looked at me for a few awkward seconds before asking another one.  "Here?"  I could only stare at him, look into his deep green eyes, questioning what this was about.  Wasn't he my friend?  Was I just being naïve again?  I gulped, my eyes felt like they were beginning to water so I looked away as I answered.

"What about you?"  He seemed confused by my response, taking a second to try and figure out what I meant.  

"Are we friends?"  I looked back over to him feeling surprised by his question.  He had pushed his tray away and rested his arms on the table.  He was staring at me, probably waiting for my answer.  I didn't want to answer, I was never good at telling who were my friends and who weren't.  But the fact that he even asked this must have meant he wanted to be my friend, or that we were... or something...

"Yeah... if you wouldn't mind...."  I couldn't keep my awkward chuckle down as my chest fluttered a bit, my heart pounding with some satisfaction.  He nodded, keeping his eyes on me as he pulled his tray back.  "Ya'know what... Damon?"  I cocked my head to the side slightly, questioning what was going on now.  "There are some people you want to trust, but you just can't help but hate... isn't that right?"  He looked back to the group's table, stabbing his fork into his plate.  "People suck... people really fucking suck..."  He scooped some of the pasta up and angrily shoved it into his mouth.  I could only watch, not sure how to react, but quickly came up with a way to push forward a new conversation.

"They hurt you?"

"They'll hurt anything that breathes."  He snorted, eating in a more natural way now.  I nodded, slowly picking up some food, starting on my applesauce.  "Um..."  I choked on my words a bit, causing the simple sound to come out cracked.  Maddox turned to me, fork circling his half full plate.  I inhaled a bit before speaking.  "I don't... want to hurt anybody..."  My voice was shaking, cracking a bit as I spoke.  I hate letting down my defenses, but whatever they did to him really hurt him, and I wanted him to know, if he ever needed a safe space...

"If you ever need someone.... you can talk to me...."  I tried keeping my smile as calm, and natural as I could.  Despite the control I managed over that, my face still felt hot, and must have been red as cherries.  "You seem to be... in a bit of a pickle... I don't know the details at all, but you mean... you mean a lot to me... and I want to make sure you... you are happy..."  I ended up trailing off towards the end, mostly because I couldn't find the right wording, but also because admitting this stuff wasn't easy at all for me.  I hate it when I admit my feelings for someone, how much they mean to me and, in the long run, they use that against me.  I hoped Maddox wasn't like that... because he means more to me than anyone else ever has and could seriously do some damage to me if he ever did try and hurt me, whether as a joke or not.

      "... Damon..."  He spoke out quietly, his voice almost sounded choked.  "You're so different from them."  I said nothing to this, instead my expression said everything.  I was, quite frankly, shocked by what he said.  "You don't make fun of people behind their backs or up to their faces... out loud anyway."  I huffed a bit, who said I even do that in my head?  "You don't seem to judge people based on their looks or any of that junk... I don't get it... but I like it."  The more he spoke the higher the spirits in his voice went until he began smiling lightly.  His eyes appeared calmer now and more relaxed, just how I liked them.  I chuckled a bit, my cheeks felt hot once again.  He pretty much complimented me so I felt really honored by that.  He sighed a bit, stirring his fork around on his plate.  "Say..."  I turned back to face him again, catching the smile he had before he put it out.  "Would you... like to come over to my place after school?  I mean, I know where you live, vice versa or whatever but... would you be okay with that?"  I practically jumped from excitement at this offer and quickly answered with, "Yes!  I would... uh... that'd be cool..."

"Great."  He grinned a little, not like his usual toothy, trickster style grin, but a kinder, softer one.  Seeing him slowly progress back to the way he was made me happy, very very happy.  Hopefully, after this paper's done and I get to the bottom of whatever happened between him and his group, everything can go back to the way it was and I'll be able to see the old Maddox again, with his pride, charisma and everything!