Some Sugar and Honey (Boy X Boy)

Chapter 13 - Gentle Touch

      Well, I really can't find much to go over next.  I could skip over the next few days, maybe even the winter break?  Let's see...Can't really think of anything- wait!  Here's something I could go over.  A few days into our Christmas break.  Christmas itself had ended and snow was finally pouring gently outside.

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      I felt relieved.  Maddox and I hadn't argued or attempted to split since that last event so things were pretty smooth over the break.  Before our last day ended, Maddox gave me his number, his social media account names and all that stuff so we were able to keep in contact without going back and forth between houses.  It was nice.

      Christmas had ended a few days back (and I got the usual, a couple shirts, socks, grown up things I never would have appreciated as a kid).  It made me appreciate it so much more though, that this would be my last Christmas with my family, but that's a different story.

      Anyway, I had been sitting on my bed as it was early in the morning and I had yet to earn the desire to get up and walk around.  I had my computer sitting before my lap as I was cross legged, my back beginning to ache from my hunch in my position.  I tried my best this time not to stalk his accounts like a mad man, of course, for me this was hard.  

I let out a heavy sigh and dropped my cheek into the palm of my hand, letting my eyelids droop lazily.  Without him around, without anyone actually, I began to get bored.  A full ten days without him?  Why was I excited again?  I was obsessed, and I honestly wasn't afraid to admit that.  I knew I had issues, my addiction to company and attention was one of them.  I had hoped that Maddox might cure all this, make me a better person, help fix my issues but instead, he might be making some of them worse.  I relied on him too much, and I prayed so much that this wouldn't happen.

      I wiped my eyes as they began to burn.  This is why I shouldn't be alone, I whined to myself, I get these thoughts in my head and then they make me feel like crap.  I closed my page tab and opened up another.  Maybe, I tried to think innocently, if Maddox comes over this time... maybe I could fix some things up, right?  To me, this seemed logical.  When he was around I didn't think of the negative things, he made me feel good, pure even.  Feeling better already, I got onto his FB account, getting ready to send him a message but a sudden idea knocked the thought out.  What if he's busy?  What if I'm just annoying him by doing this?  I pulled my hands away from the keyboard.  Maybe it would just be a waste of time?  I gulped having felt a lump form in my throat.  I was creating a pile of conflicting feelings as I waited.  

"Nnn..."  I pulled myself away from the computer, trying to give myself a bit of time to calm down.  I didn't want to feel like a  burden to him, I really didn't, and I certainly didn't want to feel that way about myself.

      After taking a few moments to breathe and think, I decided to do it.  I guess it's not really taking a risk but... what harm could it do?

I was nervous, and felt myself shaking from the previous thoughts that were still in the process of leaving my mind.  I left a simple message for him, "Would you like to come over to my house later?"  I didn't feel like trying to make it super fancy or anything, especially if my paranoia proved true and he was busy with something important.  Those string of thoughts pulled up a question in the front of my mind.

"Hmm."  I hummed out loud.  "Does he... still go to the gym I wonder?"  After this I pulled out more questions.  If he did decide to come over, at least I would have something to talk about with him.