Some Sugar and Honey (Boy X Boy)

Chapter 22 - The Greatest Mistake

     Contrary to what a lot of my classmates and teachers thought of me, I'd always had a bad temper. It wasn't something I was even remotely proud of and it was something I always did my best to hide. And the one person who mattered to me most was the one I never wanted to actually see it. But at this point, I couldn't handle it.

     Maddox sat and stared at me with widened eyes. His pale, chubby cheeks almost seemed to change into a light pink. "A... why..." he seemed to struggle to find his words. I felt embarrassed having just said that to him, after everything I had just said recently about trusting him. I felt like garbage. I really am...

     "Damon..." he muttered my name under his breath, he sounded exhausted. "I..." he kept his gaze downward. His expression almost seemed solemn. "I'm... I'm sorry I just...." he threw his arms behind his head again, sinking lower, in on himself.

     "Damon, I'm just... I'm no good at... expressing myself, OK?"

     "No, it's fine. I get it..." he quickly looked over to me. I couldn't get myself to fake a smile this time, I couldn't laugh or anything. I just wanted to die, disappear so I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore.

     "Nobody likes me. Nobody ever will..." At this point I could feel it, my tears started to well up in my eyes. Maddox seemed to flinch as I said it. As soon as I saw his reaction I regretted it. I didn't want to guilt him, it just came out.

     I didn't want to deal with this anymore. I got myself up and turned, I was ready to leave. As I was walking towards the door I felt a hand grab a hold of my sleeve. Hesitantly, I looked back to see Maddox, his small hand gingerly gripping my sleeve. He almost reminded me of a child.

     "Damon, I'm sorry." he looked at me for a second before looking away. "I mean... I know... 'sorry's' not good enough. Just saying it isn't enough for the shit I've done but..." his hand grew tighter on my sleeve, I could feel it, and I could see it in his face. He was struggling. "I really... don't deserve anymore chances." 

     His voice grew softer and quieter as he spoke, but I could hear it, the crack in his voice as he said those words. I felt my throat tighten as I watched him. His face that carried a look of distress, and his fist clenching my sleeve. I couldn't stand it.

     "Hey, Mad?" Marcus walked up behind Maddox, their basketball under his arm. "Are you coming back, or--"

     "Fuck off, Marc."

     Marcus flinched back at this, eyes wide and hands tightly gripping the ball. "What the hell?" he retorted harshly, his face distorting into an expression of anger. "I was just asking."

     "And I don't wanna hear it, fuck off!" Maddox turned to him after having released my sleeve. "I'm trying to talk and I don't want you fucking around here. Get lost!"

     I couldn't help myself as I backed up slowly. The atmosphere was getting really tense and it felt like a fight was going to break out. The teacher was over on the other side of the gym on his phone so he hadn't even noticed, but the other guys who they were playing basketball with were fully aware of the escalating situation. They all looked just as freaked out.

     "You've fucked things up enough," Maddox growled, his entire posture almost reminded me of some kinda caged animal. He was seriously ticked. "get the fuck away from us!"

     Marcus paused for a minute, only staring at him before letting out a snort. "'Us'?" he repeated, a small cackle in his voice. Maddox flinched back sharply, seeming to have come to the realization of what he just said, and what Marcus was about to say. "What?" Marcus started teasing. "You gay 'r somethin'?" he said in a mocking voice. "That why you didn't say anythin'? You in love with this joke?"