Loving Her Other Side(COMPLETED/UNEDITED)

CHAPTER 47

COURTNEY

I feel like I was stab forcefully with a blunt knife in the heart, I felt layers of unsettling emotion. A great sense of weariness sweeps over me sucking my energy with it. I felt a sting of melancholy and confusion...

"I'm fine," I whispered to myself as I pushed Tito Lorenzo's wheelchair. "Everything will be fine Courtney, that's okay, it really includes pain in life."

"Ayos ka lang ba hija?" Tito Lorenzo asked in a soft tone.

"A-Ayos lang po ako," I lied. "M-Maayos po ako." I felt my own tears forming but I wouldn't let it fall. Never would, never will..

"Hindi ka maayos hija, nararamdaman ko iyon. Kaya sige na, ilabas mo."

"A...A-yos lang po tito, h'wag po kayong mag-alala." my voice almost crack as I answered his response. I had to lie so I wouldn't feel sad. I don't want him to feel sorry for me. I don't want to be mukhang kawawa...

"Hija, hindi ka marunong magsinungaling."

"H-Hindi... H-hindi po ako nagsisinungaling Tito..." I said as I cried in a low moan.

"Ilabas mo hija, walang masama sa pag-iyak. Walang masama sa nararamdaman mo, parte ng buhay ang sakit."

And with that a great sob escaped from my mouth, I covered my face with my own shaking hands. Deep emotions stirs with no other outlet but through my long-lasting sobs, a complete hopelessness converted into tears that rain down my face at lightning speed takes over my whole.

"Iiyak mo lang hija, matatapos din ang lahat. Hija sige lang iiyak mo para kahit papaano maibsan ang sakit at mabawasan ang bigat na sumasakop sa iyo ngayon."

The pain was like needles that had been dipped in alcohol and had been jammed through my poor soul.

Ayoko nang isipin pa, ayokong maging malungkot, ayokong pangunahan ako ng emosyon ko. Pagod ako pero hindi ibig sabihin nun ay kailangan kong sumuko, kailangan kong ipaglaban ang nararamdaman ko sa mabuting paraan, sa paraan na walang masasaktan.

Alam ko naman na talo ako umpisa pa lang pero kahit papaano, alam ko sa sarili ko na lumaban ako, na... na ipinaglaban ko ang pagmamahal ko. Masaya na ako na mahalin si Troy at malaman na mahal niya rin ako, hindi man siya sa akin magka-anak at magpakasal. Masaya akong magpaparaya para kay Athena at Stella.

I took a deep breath as I wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes and from my cheeks. I honestly still feel the pain inside me, I just don't want to pay attention because it will only make it harder for me. I don't want to look miserable just because of what I found. That's not me, I can be happy even I'm in pain.