My Partner Against Crime

Chapter 68

"So, last time I asked you two to individually write about each other, maybe your love story, but I wanted something positive in general. Let's go ahead and share those, who wants to go first?" Dr. Liddy's eye's glance back and forth between Spencer and I. Silence fills the room, I never expected him to volunteer for this first.

"I can go." I adjust in my seat and pull out my notebook from my bag.

"When I first met Spencer, the second I locked eyes with him I knew I would know him," my vocal cords begin to tense, damn hormones. "It seems stupid, but meeting him didn't feel new. I felt comfortable with him immediately, I had no doubt in my mind he was going to be something special, I just had no idea to what extent. Spencer is my best friend. I don't know what that means anymore, but there was a time and place where nothing else mattered as long as he was by my side. He has shown me true love, the kind that sticks around when the mushy stuff leaves. Even if we've both lost our way along the way I will always love him." I stare down at my paper, now decorated with polka dots of tears.

"Thank you for sharing with us first, Marina. Spencer, go ahead and read yours and we'll discuss them both in a minute." Spencer nods, clears his throat, and beings reading.

"Marina, the night you told me you had slept with someone else felt like I was over. Not just our relationship but me as a person. I don't know who or what I am without you, and whatever I've done to push you away eats at me daily. I love you, and maybe through everything you don't feel the same anymore but I need you to know that if I was given the chance I'd take it all back. I should have been working on myself for you, and showing you what our future should look like. I'm sorry I've lost sight of that, I'm sorry for the things I've put you through. No matter what you've done or where we end up, you will forever be my favorite person. I can tell you don't truly understand how much I care for you, or to what lengths I'd go just to make you happy. I know at this point it might feel a little late, and for that I will forever hate myself. Thank you for guiding me into who I am now. Thank you for giving me a family, and a life I didn't ever see for myself. I don't know if my words will mean anything to you, but I love you now and forever." I bite down on my jaw to keep myself from losing it. My eyes had already horribly welled up with tears by the first sentence he spoke.

"Thank you for sharing, Spencer. I just want to point something out that I sort of picked up on from both of your pieces. I really feel like you both write as if it's time to move on. There's a lot of talk from the past, an unknown future, and I really get the feeling that you both even subconsciously believe this is over." I can't bare to look at Spencer. I don't know what to say.

"I could be wrong, of course. I just feel as though you both have put each other through so much. Spencer with your addiction, and infidelity, Marina with your ex-boyfriend, and your infidelity as well. Since this is what, our fourth session? I can tell that you're both putting in just the right amount of effort. You've decided to seek counseling, you're co-parenting to your best ability, and you've gone on a date or two since our first meeting. It all seems just surface level enough to not quite take steps back, but also not move forward in your relationship." Dr. Liddy lets us sit in silence for a moment, taking in what all has been said.

"I think this trip might be good for you guys. You're spending two days together, and then seeing family and doing your gender reveal. Make the most of those two days, remember why you still love each other, don't be afraid to get intimate physically. When was the last time you two had sex?" I think back to that night, it almost felt as if we were highschool seniors losing our virginities on prom night.

"Three weeks ago, although neither of us ended up... finishing." I said, honestly. At the time it didn't feel right. The passion wasn't there, and neither of us felt comfortable to keep going.