My Partner Against Crime

Chapter 52

"Are you sure you're okay?" I pull back from Spencer's hug.

"I'm fine." I dab my eyes with my shirt.

It's so weird that Chris is dead. It's weird to listen to funeral plans being made for my brother. The funeral is the day after tomorrow. It's soon, but my mom wants me to be there, and I'm not taking time off to stay longer.

I walk into the kitchen, Anthony's drinking and Jason has his head on the kitchen table. I sit next to Jason.

Anthony sits with us, bringing the bottle of vodka with him. He pours me a glass. He and I have always been the drinkers of the four of us kids.

"I should go to bed, we have a busy day tomorrow." Jason gets up and messes up my hair, then leaves.

"And then there were two." Anthony downs his drink and stands.

"I'm exhausted, see you in the morning, kid." He leaves and that leaves just me, sitting alone at the table with a drink that I can't have even though I'm dying to get shit faced.

"Hey, what're you doing?" I look up at Spencer in the doorway. He looks angry and worried, although I don't blame him. His pregnant wife is sitting in front of a bottle of alcohol and a poured drink.

"Nothing." I don't feel like talking, for once I just want silence.

"I'm serious, what are you doing?" He sits next to me and moves the glass away from me.

"Relax, I didn't have any." I put my elbows on the table and rest my head in my hands.

"I know you like to drink in difficult situations, but maybe this time you'll realize why you shouldn't." I roll my eyes.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"What do you expect me to say?" I look at him. I know he's trying to help, but he's just annoying me.

"Maybe that you'll agree with me, you do sort of have... an issue." I furrow my brows.

"An issue? You think I'm an alcoholic?" I stand up, he pulls my hand to sit back down.

"You tend to overdo it when you drink." I stand up again.

"Okay well, I'm not having this discussion with you." I go to the guest room and get into bed before I say something I know I'll regret.

I know for a fact if I wasn't pregnant I'd be drinking, and truthfully I wish I could. I wish I could numb the pain, the anger I'm feeling. I have to fight the temptation to down the drink that's waiting for me downstairs.
-

I'm up early, like five in the morning early. I've already showered, and had a bowl of cereal.

I sit in the living room alone with just a lamp on. The sun isn't even up yet, that's how early it is.

"Marina, I'm sorry, can you come back to bed?" I look over at Spencer leaning against the doorway.

"I'm not mad, I just couldn't sleep." I can feel the skin under my eyes sinking.

"C'mon." He walks over and reaches for my hand, I pull away.

"I told you I can't sleep, there's not point in trying." He sits next to me.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I just want space." I say, without thinking.

"Space?" I put my face in my hands.

"Yes, I just want space. I don't know if it was a good idea for you to come with me."

"Are you serious? I asked you what you wanted me to do!" He slightly raises his voice.

"Is this about someone else? Eli, Adam, Hotch, who is it?" He stands up.

"What? I just said I need space, not that I'm interested in someone else."

"It's Hotch, isn't it? You've always had a thing for him." This is why I don't want him here.

"This is why I don't want you here! You're always starting shit!" I stand up. 

"Well maybe you're just problematic!" I roll my eyes.

"Stop yelling, you're going to wake someone up."

"I'm right though, aren't I? I can see I'm not making you happy, if anything you're more anxious when I'm around. Admit it." He takes a step closer to me. I shake my head.

"Admit it, you know I'm right." I continue to stare at him. I'm exhausted, and I have no idea where to even begin.

"That's not true. I'm just asking for some space. My fucking brother just died, Spencer. What the hell is wrong with you?" I can't believe he's acting like this. He's always starting things and I'm sick of it.

"I want you to be honest with me, and you aren't." I feel like when I fight with him there's no solution, and I'm certainly not comfortable with openly arguing at my brother's house.

"So what do you want then? You want a break? I don't know what you're expecting me to say." I cross my arms.

"Maybe we should take a break." My heart sinks when he says it. I'm angry, and irritated, throwing that idea on the table isn't something I actually want.

"Do you really want that?" I ask, my voice slightly shaky.

"I think we've been fighting a lot lately, maybe it's a good idea to... have some space." I'm not going to dissect the root of his anger right now, not at Jason's house. But when we get home, I'm sure all hell with break loose.

"So what? You're just leaving then?" Catching a flight at this hour isn't going to be easy. Plus I really don't want to have to lie to my family about us.

"Marshall and I can get a hotel, and leave later today."

"You're not taking him, incase you forgot the only reason you have any custody of him is because you didn't actually do anything with our divorce papers." I step closer to him.

"Why don't you just stay. You can go to the funeral and we'll leave right after." He shakes his head.

"I don't want to be around you right now." I sigh and sit on the couch.

"Do whatever you want then, but you're not taking Marshall." I stare up at him until he leaves the living room and goes back to the guest room.
-

I didn't ever fall back asleep. Even after Spencer left I stayed on the couch and waited for everyone else to get up.

Jason was the first, he came down with Ella. Then eventually Avery, Marshall, Jesse and Bo, and lastly, Anthony who spent the night because he was too drunk to take himself home.

I told everyone Spencer had a work emergency and had to leave early this morning. Though truthfully I have no idea where he is.