My Partner Against Crime

Chapter 27

I stand on the porch of our house. Our house, the title I hope stuck. The title I hope won't soon change back to my house. Red and blue lights flash, illuminating the dark night. I watch from the corner of my eye as people go in and out.

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry, he was too far gone by the time we got here. There was nothing we could do." I look at the man, sorry spread across his face. I nod at him and he reluctantly walks away.

My hope melts away as once again it becomes my house.

I watch him on the stretcher as they roll him away. Of course a light blue sheet covers him, and I pretend it isn't him, even my subconscious won't let me believe that. The light breeze picks up enough to flip the sheet down exposing his white and blue composure. He faces me, eyes closed, lifeless.

"Ma'am, we found this near him." I'm handed a small, carelessly torn, wrinkled piece of paper.

It reads, 'To my wife, I needed you." in his handwriting.

My eyes wide  and I bolt up. My chest quickly rises and drops, my neck aches from my previous position. I stare at the seat in front of me which occupied a sleeping Spencer. Relief washes over me. Hotch, who sits across from me on the couch looks concerned.

"Are you alright?" He slightly sits forward, giving me his attention. I nod, though still shaken up.

"I don't think I can go back to sleep after that." I rest my head back against the chair and focus on the sounds of the jet. There's a consistent soft hum that soothes my beating heart.

"Bad dream?" His soft eyes show me his concern.

"My worst nightmare really." My heart aches at the thought of Spencer killing himself, or being in pain or him thinking I'm not here for him.

"About Spencer?" I furrow my brows in amazement of his guess.

"How did you know?"

"You checked him out like you were making sure he was okay."

I look over at Spencer, still fast asleep.

"I'll be back." I get up ahead grab Spencer's bag, then head to the bathroom. I'm afraid he still possesses what possesses him.

I open the bag and begin carefully digging through. My heart pounds out of fear of what I might find.

I reach my hand into the interior side pockets, and sure enough he has the two glass bottles that consumes him. I know I have to do something, he needs help, and he isn't getting any.

Panicking, I shove them in my jacket pocket and walk out of the bathroom. Luckily Spencer is still asleep and doesn't notice me returning with his bag. Hotch gives me a weird look, but doesn't question me.
-

"I'll meet you in the conference room, I'm going to run to the bathroom." Spencer quickly kisses my forehead and rushes off. My heart begins pounding in my chest. This is the moment he'll realize he doesn't have his crutch. The moment he might lose himself in need.

"Everything alright?" Hotch crosses his arms and looks me up and down. "Is there something I should know? You look like someone's coming after you." I don't know what to do, I shake my head and bite my lip stalling for time.

"All good." He walks away unconvinced, of course. I keep an eye out for Spencer, it worries me how long he's been in there. Did he notice? Is he just taking his time? I have to get the issue out of my mind. I focus on the information being laid out by JJ, who is no longer in the field due to her being far along in her pregnancy, something I never thought I would envy.