My Partner Against Crime

Chapter 7

I stare at his weak eyes not knowing what to say. I move to the couch next to him and stare down at the plain tile, I involuntarily frown and I feel my throat pinch up. I look back up at him, although it gets harder and harder to see him through my tears.

"Why did you do it?" I cover my mouth with my hand.

He sits up and gestures for me to come over to him. I sit next to him on the bed with my head in my hands and his hand rubbing my back.

"I hate seeing you like this, especially knowing that you did this to yourself." He wipes my tears with his thumb.

"I didn't mean for this to happen, it's... it's been a while since I've used on my own. I used too much."

"Where are we going from here? Are you going back to your program? Are you taking time off work?" Years ago Spencer joined an addicts program where he was able to talk to people that dealt with addiction and helped him slowly recover.

"I think I'm okay. I feel like, I can go back to work, I don't need the group." I get off his bed and face him.

"Clearly you're not fucking okay!" He looks taken back by my yelling, and diction.

"Don't look at me like that. Spencer this isn't going to just go away. For whatever reason, you decided to use and now that's gripping onto you. I mean how can I even trust you to not use again?" He looks down.

"I'm sorry." He says it just above a whisper.

"You're sorry? You could be dead! What the hell were you thinking?!" He continues to look down, not saying anything. Tears once again block my vision.

"Listen, I have work tomorrow so I'm going to go home and grab some things for you and I and I'll be back." I walk over to him and kiss his forehead before leaving the room.
-

I grab our basic toiletries, my makeup bag, some clothes and books for Spencer and my work outfit for tomorrow. I figure he would only be at the hospital for a day or two longer so I don't bother grabbing too many things.

The house feels so weird without him. I carry our things to my car and head back to the hospital. I need to be at Quantico by 8 am, and I need to wake up at 6:30 am which gives me about two and a half hours to sleep.
-

Spencer's room light is off when I got back. I notice he made room for me on the bed to lay next to him. I lay our things out on the couch, set my alarm for the morning and get into bed with him.
-

I feel exhausted as I'm awoken by my alarm. I slowly get off the bed and shut it off. I grab my makeup bag and outfit for the day and go into the bathroom.

By the time I shower and finish getting ready it's time for me to go, and Spencer is still asleep. I don't bother waking him up, so I grab my things and go down to my car.

As I drive to Quantico I think of a million excuses to tell the team about Spencer, of course I need to tell Hotch the truth, he'll find out anyway.

I park in my usual spot and immediately route myself to Hotch's office. He sits writing at his desk. I don't bother knocking I just walk in and shut the door.

"Good morning... Is everything okay?" It takes seconds for my eyes to begin watering. I try my hardest to keep myself together.

"Uh, Spencer isn't coming in." I sit down. I've never seen him look so concerned.

"Did something happen?" He drops his pen, stands up, and begins closing his blinds, blocking the view of others.

"I don't know what happened. I woke up around two in the morning and he wasn't in bed so I got up to look for him and..." My throat burns the more I talk.