AYANDA: Another Chance At Love

Chapter 1

I just got home from my morning jog, I do it a lot lately, and I've found that it is very relaxing and therapeutic and also one way to spend my time considering that I hardly ever have anything to do around the house, perks of being a housewive.

I grab a bottle of water, gulp it down before deciding on what I'll cook later,i haven't cooked Lamb in a while now, so lamp stew and mash will do for tonight.

As I'm about to head upstairs for a quick shower, the door bell rings and before I could even let the person in, the door swings open and my everso gorgeous mother inlaw walks in, "MaGumede, unjan makot'wam(how are you my daughter inlaw)" she walks over to me and gives me a hug which feels rather uncomfortable considering that I'm all sticky and sweaty, I sigh "ngiyaphila ma, unjani wena? (I'm well thanks, yourself)"

I guess she already knows that I'm actually lying to her. "he didn't come home last night, did he?" I feel my eyes slowly tearing up, my mother inlaw is probably the only person that knows truly what's going on in my marriage.

Let me introduce myself and tell you a bit more about my life set up. I'm Ayanda Gumede, 27 years of age, a qualified teacher with no work experience. I am married to Muzi Mabaso who owns a logistics company, he is 36 years of age and him and I met back when I was in Varsity doing my second year.

Muzi and I met through a mutual friend, Palesa. Her and I have been friends and res roommates since our first year At UJ, we were both studying bachelor of education but I majored in accounting she majored in geography.

I grew up in Mpumalanga but my family and I moved to joburg as I was about to do my first year since my dad had just secured a job as station commandor in a police station around soweto. My mother is a school principle and I believe that's where my passion for teaching comes from. My dad is also a pastor, I am the second of 4 daughters, my older sister Thembi is 32 years of age, she's a Pediatrician, Mbali is 24 and she's an HR manager at Woolworths and my youngest sister Lungelo is 21 and doing her final year bcom accounting at UJ. My parents raised us to be independent young women but I guess out of the 4, I chose a different route.

My life changed in my second year when I was introduced to Muzi, I needed a job at that time because I was planning to buy myself a nail tech set in order to grow my passion on that as well,Muzi had just started his company and was looking for a PA so Palesa thought I'd make the perfect candidate for the job.

I worked for him for 8 months, spent a lot of time together, we'd even work in the evenings considering that the business had just started so he needed to put in more hours into it and he had not hired a lot of people at that time.

Since we spent so much time together, one thing led to the next and i found myself in a relation with a man who is 8 years older than me, i kept this from my mother and my sisters because according to my mother, my sisters and I are meant to marry one of the guys at church. My mom and my siblings are literally my best friends but I just couldn't share this with them.

I fell for Muzi to a point that I'd ignore certain red flags, like how he'd casually comment about my weight(did I mention that I'm a big girl? A size 38 to be precise) or how he'd just want to see me whenever it suits him, Palesa then suggested that maybe I should give him what's due to him then things would get better.

Stupid me actually listened to her and slept with Muzi, I was a virgin at the time and having strict parents means I don't get to talk about sex or contraceptives with them, I fell pregnant. I remember finding out at campus health that I'm pregnant after fainting in class during a lecture, I had to tell Muzi and he was not so pleased with this but he was also against my idea of terminating the pregnancy.

It was easy hiding it from my parents since I lived at a student accomodation, until I had to go home for the year end holidays in December, the bump was visible but being a clueless teenager, I thought my parents wouldn't notice and they'd think I've just gained weight considering that I had a belly even before the pregnancy.

Need I say, my mum found out the very same day that I arrived at home. She was shuttered, my dad was upset, and also very disappointed.

During the December holidays my family held a meeting for me including my aunts and uncles, after the meeting my mum and my aunts drove with me to muzi's loft in New Town, well they wanted to meet his parents but I didn't know where I'd take them so that's the only place I knew.

We arrived and he had to call his parents as well, the meeting was held between my parents and his parents, we were sent out of the room after Muzi acknowledged that the baby is his. Thereafter, we were called in.

This is when my life changed for the worst, I was TOLD that Muzi would have to marry me because no child will be raised out of wedlock, I had no say in all of this, the decision was final and I was not only going to be someone's mother, but also someone's wife.

6 years later, I still live with scars of the decision that my family believed was best for me, 6 years later, I still haven't healed from the loss of my baby boy due to a miscarriage because of depression, 6 years later I am stuck in a loveless marriage with a man who is disgusted by my existence, all because my family wanted to  protect their image from the humiliation of having a pregnant teenage daughter...

I am Ayanda Gumede and this is my story...