AYANDA: Another Chance At Love

Chapter 25

I'm left here shocked and confused. The whole sitting room went silent, everyone is probably trying to process everything that's going on. I turn to my mother in law and she looks just as shocked as I am.

Honestly I never thought that things could go south like this, more especially with my family in the same province to support me. I'm truly embarrassed, now the whole family knows my dirty business. I mean not everyone will be understanding as to why I did what I did, they'll still look at me with disgust, I mean I slept with 2 brothers in the same week while claiming that I am trying to save my failing marriage.

I'm crying at this point thinking about the mess that I created. "Everyone better listen to me and listen carefully, lomsebenzi uzoqubeka, for the sake of this child, we'll sort everything else after the ceremony,i hope I've made myself clear, Muzi, Nkosi, ngilandeleni" that's my father in law, they walk off up the stairs and I'm just left there.

I'm stuck in one spot with almost everyone stealing glances at me, i cannot move I feel so embarrassed. Thando, one of Muzi's cousins comes up to me, she takes my hand and leads me up the stairs to the bedroom that Muzi and I are using.

"ngiyabonga sisi" that's all I manage to say. I wipe my tears and practically throw myself on the bed. She sighs then sits next to me. "don't beat yourself up about it, you did what you had to do, probably what any woman would do if they found themselves in a similar position" she's right, at that point, I had no choice, I had to do anything in my power to save my marriage and honestly I cannot be crusified for trying to save what meant so much to me at the time.

"Nami oe I would've done the same, plus ke Nkosi is one fine man, so why not" she licks her upper lip "thando!" she chuckles, we laugh about it and chat for sometime about her, she's studying medicine, doing her 7th year at wits. She's also working part time. She's one Of the nicest people I've met in the mabaso family, her mother is Mr Mabaso's younger sister. So basically menzi's dad is her uncle.

She leaves after about 30 minutes of chatting. I freshen up and call my sister Thembi. But I contemplate telling her what went down, especially over the phone considering that I had not told her initially about how I got to conceive Ntokozo.

I go downstairs to fetch my baby and the glances continue, but honestly I'm not as bothered as I was earlier. It's only a matter of time that they start gossiping about me so these glances are honestly something I believe I can handle for now.

My baby was with one of the woman helping in the kitchen. "sanbona.." I greet and they all answer me in such a low tone but again, I choose not to take it to heart. I take my baby and heat up her mashed potatoes so I can feed her.

We go upstairs, I feed her and change her diaper. While I'm trying to put her to sleep, Muzi walks in. He walks to the ensuite, the tension in this room is so thick you can cut through it with a pair of scissors. He comes back as I prepare the bed so I can put wami to sleep. He stands by the ensuit door leaning on the door frame and I can feel his eyes on me. I tuck my baby in, take out the baby monitor and put it on the side of the bed.

After doing so I walk towards the bedroom door ready to go out but he stops me "ngicela sikhulume Ntokazi" he sounds so calm, it's odd, he is never this calm towards me.

*Muzi's POV*
At first I thought he was just saying these words to upset me, i thought he'd chuckle and say that he was joking or better yet, I was hoping someone would wake me up from all of this and I'd narrate this bad dream to someone.

This feels like deja vu, I cannot believe all along I thought that I finally had something to call my own, I cannot believe I thought that I finally got to prove myself as a man. This honestly opened old wounds, I thought I had healed from losing Lihle, I thought Ntokozo was just what I needed to be a better man only to find out that it was all just a lie.

After dad called us, he tried explaining that this is part of culture, it has been done for many years and there's nothing wrong in what Nathi did, the only mistake was that the matter was disclosed in front of the whole family. I'm more hurt than upset, I'm broken, I'm torn apart.

Under different circumstances I'd probably say a lot of hurtful things to this woman standing before me but I cannot. I feel so bad for all that I've put her through,she had to find herself keeping such a big secret from me because she was trying to keep me, she was trying to save our marriage, the same marriage which I took for granted. I don't think there's any woman who could allow herself to go through half of what I've put this woman through and still stick around.

Nathi was right, she truly does deserve better, she deserves love in the purest form, she deserves someone to treat her the same way she treats everyone else,with respect and with the same love she offers.

"maQwabe, Ngiyaxolisa..." she looks surprised, I guess this probably isn't what she expected from me. "listen Ayanda, I want to apologize, from the first time we met, it was never about love, I found comfort in your space and that came across as love to you, I tagged you along and we ended up in a situation which wasn't serving either of us, yet you stuck around, you continued to love me, I've said these words before but I'm genuinely sincere at this point, I'm sorry... " she looks at me blankly, probably because she has heard this several times.

" look, it's not your fault Muzi, you just never loved me, i get it, no need to apologize, I should be apologizing for what I did and keeping this whole thing away from you, I never thought it would ever come out, especially in the way that it did. Please find it in your heart to forgive me, as for our past, please let's leave it at that" with that said she walks out. I should probably suck it up for the weekend and then leave this place as soon as this ceremony is done.

*Aya's POV*

I walked out on Muzi because he was starting with one of his episodes. Apologizing and trying to make me believe that he is a changed man. I guess he does this everytime he notices that he has actually lost all control over me.

I go out to the kitchen with the baby monitor in the pocket of my dress. "ngingasiza kuphi?" I ask when I get to the kitchen, which went completely silent as soon as I spoke. Aunt Sindy, Muzi's aunt responds saying I can go out to clean the fresh cow meat that the men have just slaughtered.

I do as I'm told. As I'm at the tap cleaning the meat, a lady comes to stand right next to me, i pretend to not have seen her and continue singing while cleaning the meat. She clears her throat. I look up and it's a dark skinned lady, just about the same body size as myself if not a bit slimmer. She sizes me from head to town.

Now I'm confused because I don't even know her. "Uwena lona ongithathele uNkosi?" oh my word does the drama ever end here. "Thandeka sawubona..." thank heavens I'm saved by Nkosi, now the lady has forgotten about her attitude, she's all smiles and blushing.

I get back to washing the meat and they chat a bit before she walks off, Nathi pats my shoulder and I stand up straight." ungamnaki... " he says with a smile,i just nodd and continue with that I'm busy with, "look Aya..." before he could even finish the baby monitor sounds, it means my baby is up so I grab the pot of clean meat then walk back into the house leaving him standing there.

He created this whole mess and I'm not about to stand here with him all smiles like I have forgotten the unnecessary fued that he just starred up