AYANDA: Another Chance At Love

Chapter 50

*2 months later*
It's been a long couple of months for me, filled with a lot of breakdowns and tears here and there, we went down to meet maSithole as per her request and it was mostly about what she wanted to discuss with nathi than it was about me.

Well, Nathi and I have gotten closer eversince he moved in, I can safely say that we are official. Even though the night of the proposal didn't go quite well, we still love each other regardless.

He's been a bit distant, him and Amahle are going through their divorce process, and Amahle is seemingly trying to make this harder than it already is. So It would really be selfish of me to expect Nathi to be fully present for me and Wami at the moment or even consider planning a wedding. Also, I think I like the idea of a long engagement, just to figure out if this is really what we want, I don't want to rush into anything, especially with the man that I love so much.

It's Thursday today, a windy August afternoon, tomorrow is Nathi's birthday and I'm sitting on my desk, eating my sandwich and trying to figure out what to do for this man on his birthday. Wami is back full time staying with me, Nathi moved out after a month and got himself a temporary apartment not far from my place.

I think maybe just preparing a nice intimate three course dinner would be nice, maybe some lingerie to spice it up a bit, I hope he will be in the mood for all this, or maybe a night out at the club, I haven't gotten drunk in a really long time. But this man is almost 40,i doubt he would want to spend his birthday in a club while he's going through a divorce.

Maybe just pizza, I really don't wanna overdo it only to end up dissapointed when he doesn't show much appreciation which would be understandable because he is obviously going through a lot.

Lunch time is over and I'm back to being buried in marking while the class continues with work I've allocated. Its finally time to knock off, I need to first pick up my baby who's learning a few words now, she's growing so fast and nothing warms my heart as much as experiencing all of that, she calls me mama and I don't think there's any better feeling as a mother than hearing your child call you that.

It breaks my heart though when I think about the baby that I didn't get a chance to mother, so I'm basically a mother of 3,with only 1 surviving child, I feel the need to protect her with all that I am because honestly she's a real blessing.

I get to the kindergarten and she's not her usual happy chappy self, usually she runs to me, well technically she tries to run to me but falls along them way but today she's just sitting there waiting for me to carry her.

We drive off with her just playing with whatever it is she has in her hand, I decide to pass by McDonald's and buy us dinner for the night, she'll have chicken nuggets which are her faves, she really just chews on them until they're really dry but hey as long as she enjoys them.

We get home and I prepare her feeding chair and give her her meal while I put on cocomelon, her favourite. I finally get to sit and relax, there's a few notifications on my phone, 2 missed calls from my mum and 3 whatsapp messages but before I open to see who sent the messages I decide to call my mother back, it could be serious.

"ma, I see your missed calls" she heeves a very deep sigh, then there's a bit of shuffling, "hi mntase, you have to come home" my mum handed the phone over to Thembi. Okay this sounds serious "Hawu, Thembi, kwenzekeni?" I ask a bit alarmed now. "just come home" then she hung up.

My mind is all over the place now, I take Wami out of the feeding chair, and grab my car keys, we drove off to soweto and along the way I realize that I didn't even pack a bag for her nappies and essentials.

As I drive into the neighborhood, there's a few cars parked outside at home, as I park I notice two ladies with headwraps on, walking towards the gate. My heart sinks, this cannot be what I think it is, they're probably lost, maybe they've gone into the wrong house.

Maybe the old lady from next door has finally rested, she was in her 90s, there's no way that they came to my parents house.

I do a few breathing exercises then calm myself down, I grab wami and we walk in, why is my uncle here? He doesn't even look at me, "malume" I'm back to panic mode, he just walks on as if he didn't hear me. I walk in and my whole family is here, my knees get weak, I'm shaking, what the heck is going on her?

I need my dad to explain all this to me, he has a way of calming me down in overwhelming situations, I walk in to the sitting room and he isn't in his usual recliner.

As I walk towards my mother's room, thats where my heart sinks, the mattress is down, my mum and my older sister are sitting there covered with a blanket, my mum's eyes are blood shot red. As soon as her eyes land on me, she breaks down.

I hand my baby to some lady sitting by the entrance of my parents room and rush to my mum, I need answers, "mama, what's going on? Uphi ubaba?" at this point all 3 of us are in tears, "usishiyile ubabakho Ayanda" and right there, I feel the world closing up, how? When? What happened?

Dad was just fine, how? And suddenly I'm struggling with my breathing, the world is literally closing up...