BABYBOY || P.JM

33 . For You

— Next Day —

Tuesday , January 3 , 2018

12:30 P.M.

My feet ache from being constantly dragged on the floor behind me but I make an attempt to straighten my back on the chair at the end of the corridor , staring at the passers-by with a blank emotion . It feels empty , so empty that I can see myself losing everything slowly , by passing seconds . I can't help but come back to her because of the damned love I possess for her . I move my hand to touch the band-aid suppressing the blood flow on my cheek with my left hand , being helpless because of my right arm which is covered with bandages.

All these years , I haven't seen my future in an unpredictable sense but I see it , I see the dark days zooming into my life at an impeccable speed without y/n .My heart is weary because of the unwelcomed truth about her parents which is weighing my heart down with a pang of guilt .I wish to make her comfortable about the history that we share but it deems to be impossible when she hasn't woken up since past 18 hours . My eyes dart back to the man standing before me who has been worrying about my health but has only recieved rudeness from me . I'm really disappointing everyone.

"You should take a bath , I brought you some clothes of mine . Trust me you don't want be sick and stay away from her when she wakes up .",He tricks me emotionally but her mention makes me grow more anxious . Jaehyun puts a brown bag on the seat next to me , occupying a seat closer to me . "I'm sorry….I was going crazy yesterday . I know you said it because you care about me and I acted so dumb . I don't know… I don't want to be like this when her condition is so serious……",I vent my heartfelt apology , hoping that he would understand the reason behind my outburst but no matter what excuse I come up with , it wasn't justified to behave like I did.

"It's okay- I understand what you are going through because I have seen you falling in love with her and I know how much you cherish her . Love's like that , it can either make you the saddest or the happiest man alive with no control of your heart over it . ",He understands me , bringing a little curve on my bruised lips and I look at him before nodding at him , lacking the words that can express my gratitude and desperation to see her again.

"Why is it that everytime I'm the happiest…...something in the world has to ruin it completely ?",A painful chuckle escapes from my lips , my words somehow hurting me to the core with a burning ache when I think about all the happy memories that we have cherished together .

Jaehyun doesn't say anything , instead scooting closer to me so that he can pass his arm around my shoulders and rub in a consolation .My heart feels weary of the desperation to reach closer to y/n , I feel lack of appetite , not for food or water , but aching for care , affection and happiness .Perhaps this is what the stories meant when they called somebody heartsick."But that's what it's all about , Is it worth it ? This hard fight , long wait to see her - if it's worth the love you have for her , just don't give up .I know this isn't easy but I know that both of you can do it because I have seen both of you growing in love and I think it's worth all this trauma .",I look at him, my heart filled with fears that make my stomach hollow but I know that I want her , I want every inch of her body that flourishes happiness and joy in my life .

"It really is…..",I bite my lips as all the longings in my heart are starting to overwhelm my senses and stand from the seat before I can break down in front of him. Taking the hold of the bag from the floor , I strut towards the restroom . If I want to win her against all odds , I have to pull myself together because I don't want to be a weak jerk to her .

6:20 P.M.

My eyes sear against the wall , peeking discreetly to look at the corridor which lines y/n's hospital room and I watch taehyung making his way inside the room with a package of vitals and other medicines . I shift back into my seat upon the bitter realisation of y/n still being succumbed to sleep. Anger boils in my blood to make the lives of the persons who did this to her , a living hell but here I am sitting , just waiting for her to wake up so that I can apologise and hold her again to look at her bruises and take care of her .