misjudged the notion of love

rethinking and hoping

Groaning a bit, gulf kept his eyes closed to dart them about heavy lids, to then turn to his back to moan a bit.
He didn't know why but he was locked in a darkened dream with feeling most of it and not understanding what he was wanting.
Shuffeling about, he then turned back to his side, to part his lips has he felt finger tips move themselves about his naked body, they felt so good.
Unaware, gulf then slide his hand down to place to his pants, to start to stroke his at member.
His brow then furrowed when his dream started to take a turn.
Gulf took his hand out to then move to his stomach to squirm a bit to breathe heavily, has a hand then went to his mouth to keep him silent to then feel something hard go into his cavity and roughly.
Gulf then opened his eyes to groan, he made a face to then look up to his clock to sign to then look back to the wall.
What was that?
Gulf shook his head a bit, to then roll his eyes to remember mew was to be at the couch.
Gulf took in a deep breathe to then slowly move up to keep his head hung.
"Mew...... It's 6, you need to get the hell out of my....."
Gulf then raised his head to then look across the way to see a folded blanket to his couch.
He then placed a hand to his blanket to remove to then get up to widened his eyes.
Has he placed his legs to the side, he had to much himself over to then pull up his boxers and pants, to then go about to his couch to look upon it.
See.... Your an early morning person....
Gulf grabbed the blanket to then go to the closest to place it inside to then close the door to place his hand upon it, to then hang his head.
I have...... That assholes seed in me, then I had to have that weird dream..... I'm so confused with it.....
Gulf shook his head to then go about to then go to his bathroom to take all his clothes off to then hop into the warmth to lift his head up to let the water wash through him.
Gulf gulped to then take a finger back to then try and get what he could put in his cavity.
Wincing just a bit, gulf took his hand about to then clean his fingers to sign heavily.
Maybe what happened last time really was a fluke, maybe when I have my meet, I won't shell off anymore seconds, maybe this can really stop.....I don't understand the beginning of my dream, but I think I understand the end, of a hand to be over my mouth, no matter how long it has been, my first time......ugh..... Doesn't help I'm sleeping with my rapist.....
Gulf then made a face, to then place his hands to the wall to then hang his head to let the water hit his neck.
"Can I..... Really call..... Him that?"
Gulf took in a deep breathe to then place his forehead to the wall to shake it a bit.
After, gulf was too the kitchen after making his routine meal, to then sit to have his arms wrapped to eye, he then looked about to feel a bit lonely.
Gulf shook his head to then look back to grab his fork to then dig in.
This is what gulf wanted after what tiru did to him and after what he did to tiru.
Solitude.
After he ate he was before his sink to then wash slowly to eye to make a face has he placed everything away.
He then turned to go to his bed to lay down to look to his ceiling.
I really do hope I don't shell off any more seconds, I really hope it was just a fluke, I think mew is right..... Sex can't be the answer..... Just can't be.....
Gulf signed to then turn to his side to then look to the wall.
But.... Can it?
Mm..... What will happened after last night? He didn't do the same thing that he always had, mew didn't just.... Take it, he also went semi slow with that lube.....mm..... Happy I didn't bled or tear.....
Gulf signed to then go to his back to look to the ceiling once more lost in thought.
We didn't do the same routine, usually when I go against that, I don't do well in my meets.....
Gulf then brought a hand up to then rub his neck to then sit up to go criss cross to then cup his hands to look to them.
If I don't shell off another second, I can end this and just try to forget.
Gulf gritted his teeth to then turn his head to widen his eyes, he then reached a hand over to grab the tube of lube that didn't make it to the floor to then eye.
So a little bit of this, made things feel a bit better.
Gulfs eyes darted to then move to his side table to then place it in to stare at it.
He then went back to then lay to his side to keep his eyes to the drawer.
Will I.......shell off more seconds? Or will mew be right and this isn't because of the sex? But if it's not then how am i to be doing that after so long?
I first started to be better when I was younger after him and I......
Gulf flexed his jaw to then get immediately up to go to his dresser to then place on his uniform to then go about to get his bag to then go, he wanted to run off what he was too be thinking.
Gulf went to the bus stop to then sit down to look forward to make a face to wrap his arms about.
It has to be the sex..... And if it's not, I end it.... That simple, now stop fucking thinking about this and him!
Gulf then stood when then bus came about to get on to hope he was wrong, however it was too be in vain.