misjudged the notion of love

feeling like utter sh***

Getting home by taxi kirka kept his head hung to go into his apartment to slam the door to then take off his clothes one by one which lead a path to his bedroom to go straight to bed to lay to his back to look up, his chin started to quiver, he then placed a arm over his eyes.
I can't believe my brother and my first love are dating! I can't believe I.....ugh..... Raped Gulfs first! I am such a pathetic piece of shit!
Kirka couldn't hold back his tears anymore.
Once he shed what he did, kirka was to his shower to look to the white for to take in deep breathes to start to grow and hard in depression.
Twitching here and there the water started to turn cold, he signed to then bring up his hand to turn the nob off to then get out to dry himself off to then go about to his kitchen with the towel wrapped about his lower to fix him something to eat.
Once done he sat to his table to eye and pick at the food.
Just can't believe any of this, why does this have to be my life, thought if I gave mew time, went after him slowly we could..... But he loves my brother.....ugh why!? Is it a younger thing? What really has gone on between those two to get to this level? Also what happened between him and tiru then? Why couldn't they be a couple so I could be with mew?
Kirkas eyes widened a bit to then push his plate away to go about to then place his elbows to the table to put his head into them.
What am I going to do about that? I raped tiru......I was drunk and we should not have.....jeez how swollen his ass was I can tell I was really bad..... That boy did not deserve that..... What should I do? Will an apology be enough? After all I have done and caused if he wants to punch me or call the police it would be more then fair, what I did was just horrible!
Kirka made a face to then take his hands away to then start to consume the food since his stomach was a bit upset and was starting to hurt him..
I need to eat then go back to my home town and try to make things right with tiru...... Then I don't even know what to do next, mew has my brother and even though I said what I did, I don't really regret it, since gulf took mew from me but shit.... He must be hurting too.
Kirka made a face to then finish his food to then get up to place the plate to the sink to then make more.
Deal with tiru, then gulf then mew.
Kirka nodded to then think.
Done with eating and getting dressed, kirka went back to his home town not really knowing all what to do but knew he needed to do something, driving pass the bar he had gone to, he then parked to get out to see if tiru was working.
Going in he went to the bartender.
"Mm, bartender is tiru working today?"
They turned to shake there head.
"No and not any other time either."
Kirka raised his brow.
"Why?"
"He quit, said he shouldn't work here anymore, why?"
"Mm.... He is my brother's old friend, do you perhaps know where he lives?"
"I can't give out that type of information."
Kirka nodded to look down.
"Right of course, thank you anyway."
Kirka turned with his head hung to then go out.
What should I do next? I have no idea where he lives. Can't call gulf or mew to ask and even if I did would they even tell me after how I acted. Should I just drive about?
Kirka then opened the door to then look to the side to raise his brow.
Tiru was there to eye kirka up and down a bit confused.
"Kirka?"
Kirka took in a deep breathe to let the door shut..
"Um..... Was told you don't work here."
Tiru shook his head..
"Just coming by to get my last paycheck, why are you here?"
Kirkas eyes Darted to then hang his head to look down.
"Um...."
Tiru couldn't help but to smile a bit.
"Mm...I really need to get this check, can you wait for me?"
Kirka immediately looked up to nod to then move away from the door to see tiru go inside. He then went to the wall to then look forward.
What am I going to do now? This is the whole reason why I came so..... Damnit I can't think.
Turning his head, tiru held an envelope to then look to him..
"So...... What are you doing here? Did you come here to see me?"
Kirka took in a deep breathe to then look down.
"Um....yeah.....I wanted to...."
Tiru then looked about.
"How.... About we go somewhere else to talk? Maybe a hotel? So we can be alone?"
Kirka furrowed his brow a bit confused to then look up.
"What?"
Tiru rolled his eyes to then step to kirka to grab his hand to then leash him across the street to the same hotel the two lost there virginitys at.
Kirka eyed the action to be swallowed by confusion.
Getting a room, he looked about to then stand to the middle of the room to take in deep breathes.
"Don't know why you wanted to get an hotel room but we need to talk and....."
Kirka then hung his head to look down to widen his eyes, he saw two hands to his pants to start to undo.
"I believe you know why were here kirka."
Kirka then shuffled out of his grasp to turn to fully eye.
"What the hell! No, I came here to apologize for what happened the other day, I did not come here for this."
Tiru widened his eyes to look down to wrap his arms about.
"Oh...... Um.... Why are you apologizing?"
"I..... Saw how.....I was really rough and drunk and I raped you and....if you want to hit me, call the police I understand."
Tiru shook his head to then take steps towards kirka who then went back into his legs hit the bed.
"You were drunk, I also do not see this has rape, mm... The roughness have to say....I liked it."
Tiru then placed his hands to kirkas chest to then push him down, kirka breathed heavily to eye him.
Tiru looked to kirka to shrug to then take off his shirt.
"I understand why it happened and it was so very good, I should be apologizing to you, I can see who you love and I did nothing to stop it and I am not stopping it now."
Tiru then went to his knees to then eye kirkas pants with a giant smile, kirka eyed the action to have a deer caught in headlights moment..
"Ww.... What?"
"Mm, you called me him a few times, it's okay, I get it, it's just......I waited so long to have sex and kirka having it with you.....mm" tiru cooed.
Kirka then tensed to look up to grip the bedding to each of his sides, has tiru went to his member to suck so hard.
Shit! What am I going to do now!