Feral Regality

Chapter - 33

*Cassius' P.O.V*

The worst part of the eternities I had been granted was always saying goodbye to the people I cared about as age got to them.

But I had always brushed them away.

I never had much to care about anyways.

But the more I looked at the fragile little human that had turned my world apart lying dead, the more I broke like I had never broken, the realization of how nothing would ever be the same again or how the past few years of her existence around me would haunt me, stay with me and taunt me for the rest of my living days a brutal heavy stone that hit me, one I was not ready to fight against, one I did not want to bear the weight of.

Dreams of all that we could've been, all that I had wanted to give her and show her burned as they dropped in my mind, the laughter I would never hear, the sarcastic tongue she had on her that would never speak and the eyes that expressed every single emotion she felt something I would never see again burned so bad that I shriveled up inside, the monster she had somehow fallen in love with that resided inside me howling as he lost her mate and I lost my love.

I listened and felt the heart that she had so easily given up for me beat within me, the one thing I had not owned for the longest of period since I was turned into the Hollow the titans had wanted granted to me in return for the loss of her.

I wept like a child as water left my eyes for the first time since I had seen my family die and I shouted in the void for her to return, the paleness that turned her perfectly flawless, fair yet tanned skin deathly hurtful with every passing second. I stared at her lips that were always turned into a soft smile every time she stared at me pressed into a straight line, something they would remain in for the rest of the time.

"Fuck Csilla. Why?" I whispered as I pulled her limp frame into me and inhaled her fading scent, the mesmerizing feminine scent that calmed me and took my every sane thought away, turned me impulsive and crazed and calm altogether, feeling myself wet her skin as I cried into her, wanting nothing more than for her to open her eyes and tell me it was all a big fucking prank.

I thought of the life we could have had, imagined the time fade away into nothing as we lived together, thought of the children we would have brought into the world and what an amazing mother she would have been to them, the perfect queen she was to balance my ruthlessness, the heart she had just given me breaking with every possibility that would never now become a reality taunted me as they formed in my head.

"I'm sorry Cassius. We're sorry for everything." I heard Chaos mutter the words and I couldn't bother acknowledging them, crying harder as I smelled Estelle's blood on her, silently priding my little mate about what she had managed to do.

I wish I could tell her how proud I was of her. I wish I could tell her so many things I never had.

I wish I could tell her just how much she made me happy, wished I could tell her how utterly perfect she was in every sense of manner. Wished I could tell her just how lost I felt without her.

But nothing.

Me, the almighty for whom nothing was impossible couldn't have the one thing I needed as much as humans needed air.

Her.

I couldn't have her.

A hand rested on my shoulder and I snarled lowly, ordering Adrastos to back off and leave me the fuck alone with her, to let me savor whatever was last left of her. "I'm sorry." The croak in his voice only pained more.

I had taken the light away from our grey lives. She had died saving the man that was dark and cold instead of remaining alive and being the queen that would've made the world a place I would've loved to see.