Azriel | Lux Ex Tenebris ✓

Chapter 4: Humiliation & Willingness

✧Misma POV✧

"Are you ready to leave?" Fillias' voice rang through my room. The content of my stomach souring, I groaned, pushing myself of the bed and slowly waddled towards the door. "Yes, coming!" The past three days I had solely spent in my room. Sirla had brought me food up here and I came to the conclusion that she absolutely despised me and I also figured out why.

She liked him, no she loved him. Fillias. She could have him and I told her that to which she just growled at me. Well, then she went back to hating me. Fillias was going to show me around the court today. Yeah, I was surprised, too, when he had made that offer. I had just accepted because it would mean that I was finally allowed to get out.

Out of this room and out of house.

I slipped on a light jacket and opened the door only to find my future husband leaning against the opposite wall. His red hair was neatly slicked back and he wore a brown leather jacket. He was handsome, no doubt, but his cruel and disgusting character washed over his beauty completely. And apart from that my thoughts were with the Shadowsinger. Constantly. I only could think about him, his eyes, his face.

The corner of my lips slightly twitched upwards, not because of Fillias but because of Azriel. I had only ever seen him from distance, when they paid their rare visits to the Hewn City, but I had never made eye contact with him before. I always found him utterly handsome, although I would have never been allowed to have thoughts like that.
Last night my mind had even played more tricks with my head — it had felt like I could hear his heartbeat. He had a nightmare last night, I had felt it. I had been awoken by it, cold sweat coating my skin and panting heavily. It was utter madness. I thought I was going mad. Completely and utterly mad. I was going to marry Fillias in a few days and all I could think about was the Shadowsinger. I felt him, I could feel him but I could not reach out to him.

"Let's go! We will check out the wedding location and you can take a look around the court." "Thanks," I murmured and tried to smile at him. Maybe I should give him a chance, right?

"Don't say thanks. I am not doing this for you, if you thought so. Our people have to see us together. They have to see my future wife. That is why I am doing this. To show you off. Trust me I could think of a hundred more fun things to do right now instead of walking you over the court."

I huffed. Well, maybe no chance for him. "Trust me, I could, too," I snapped. His eyes met mine and he glared, a muscle in his jaw flexing.

"Fuck you, for example?" he suggested, a wicked grin on his face. I drew in a shaky breath, tears dwelling in my eyes and my stomach churning. That was gross. I already got disgusted just thinking about him touching me, kissing me and more. It was gross, so gross that my stomach twisted once again. "That is gross," I mumbled. "Earlier or later there won't be any escaping to that. You will be my wife and I can do to you whatever I want. Even if I take you right in front of the whole court and make everyone watch while I fuck you." He wouldn't do that, would he?

I blinked away the tears, swallowing a sob, my throat burning and gritting my teeth. "You wouldn't dare...wouldn't dare humiliate me like that?!" I huffed. Spinning around on his heels, he quickly turned towards me, grabbing my arm tightly. My stomach coiled, a kernel of anguish and fury blooming in my chest.

"Then learn to obey and don't behave like a fucking whiny, little brat!" he spat into my face and I ripped my arm out his hand. This was a nightmare. Not the Autumn Court, this was a court of terror and pain. I wanted nothing more than to go home. But how? I had never been to another place than the Night Court, or let's say the Hewn City and now the Autumn Court. Where would I go? Where would I escape to?