This Feeling

27

Chapter 27

Raphael's Point of View

LOVE. How can you define love? I stumbled upon on how do I differentiate like and love. Naisip ko kung ano nga ba ang nararamdaman ko kay Adaria pagkalipas ng ilang taon. Is it like or love?

Gusto ko lang ba siya talaga o mahal ko na ba talaga siya?

But when I read a book which talks about it, unfortunately, I can't remember its title. I learned about the difference between liking someone and loving someone.

The author uses the flower to identify the difference between liking someone and loving someone.

Kapag gusto mo raw ang isang bulaklak, pipitasin mo. Itatago mo sa kung saan ito ligtas at walang sino man ang makakakita. Sa libro mo man ito itago o ipaframe mo pa ito.

Pero kapag mahal mo ang isang bulaklak, hindi mo siya pipitasin. Tititigan mo lang siya at papahalagahan ang taglay nitong kagandahan. Aalagaan mo siya at didiligan araw-araw. Hanggang makikita mo na sumibol ito sa sarili nito.

After I read that, I realized that I love her. We got separated by time but all along I've been watching her from afar, growing on her own.

Hindi ko na lang namalayan noon na nasisimulan ko na siyang magustuhan. Iba ito sa nararamdaman ko para sa kuya niya. Ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya ay totoo.

I fell in love with our little time together. When we are simply together, I felt refreshed and happy. She accepted me for who I am. She never judged me and she takes care of me.

Our story was not like everyone else. Ours is unique and pure. I promised myself when the universe permits us to meet again, I am willing to pursue her. And that's what I did.

ONE week before Adaria's birthday, I asked my family and our friends for help. Mabuti na lang at pumayag sina Hex at Cords. Sinabi ko na sa kanila noon ang side ko. They knew it already but Adelmund choose not to tell it sooner which made things complicated. Pero hindi ko na iyon inisip pa, ayaw kong isisi iyon lahat kay Adelmund. He is my future brother in law anyways.

"So, plano mong e surprise siya sa birthday niya?!" Hex excitedly asked. Naging awkward pa kami kanina pero ng magsalita siya ay napawi na iyon.

"Uhm. Yeah. I promised to myself that when the universe permits us to meet again, I will shoot my shot. I will pursue her no matter what." After I've said that everyone in my house went quiet. My Mom went 'awe' while my Dad is thumbs up-ing me. The girls' mouth hangs open while the boys salute me.

"Kyah! Sheda! Shutacca! Raphael! Ang haba naman ng hair ng bestie namin. After all the years of being NBSB, finally! She will be taken by you. I think you are the only boy that she liked, all her life. Yeah, she got crushes but it only ended in that. Kung alam mo lang, Raphael." Mahabang ani ni Hex. Napatigil siya ng makita niya ang reaksyon ko matapos kong makuha ang nais niyang iparating.

"Now, he knows. You beech! All her efforts of confessing will be useless! Oops! Shit!" Then suddenly Cords said more information than they should've said. Now, I'm smiling like an idiot.

"She likes me?" Parang may kabayong tumatakbo sa dibdib ko. My face is heating, I'm probably blushing right now.

"Hays hindi na lang ako magtell." Ani ni Cords ngunit sapat na ang sinabi nilang chismis sa akin. Mainit-init pa iyon kaya masarap sa pakiramdam. Makakatulog ata ako ng mahimbing mamaya.

"Huwag ka munang magcelebrate d'yan lalaki. Follow the culture of us Filipinos. Ligawan mo ang kapatid ko. Kahit kayo na, ligawan mo pa rin siya. Diba Hex? Babe please forgive me na pleth. UwU?!" Ani ni Adelmund. The cringeness though. I can't take it. Ganoon rin talaga siguro ang mga lalaki sa mga mahal nilang babae. They act like a child in front of their lover. Abiss is like that, kaso hindi pa sila. Well, isip bata naman talaga 'yang pinsan ko.