Guns and Roses (Rick Grimes)

Chapter Nineteen

      Days had passed, but Hershel was finally up and a bit more active. The group had made sure to get him a pair of crutches so he could get around on his own. Hersehl didn't really like the crutches, but he knew he had to use them. Maggie and Beth were adamant that he use them, so of course he agreed. Carl had went with Hershel, Beth, Lori, and Maggie to watch Hershel walk around outside, as Harry and I hung out in Harry and Carl's cell. Harry had wanted to draw, so I sat and drew pictures with him for a while.

        As we were sitting on the floor and drawing, I heard a shouting outside. Everyone yelling seemed to be panicked, which made me worry even more. I wanted to go out there and see what was going on, but I had to stay and keep Harry safe. I hoped with all of my heart that Carl was safe with his father or one of the group.

    Moments later, a loud alarm began to blare throughout the prison. Quickly, I stood up and closed the door to the cell to keep myself and Harry safe. I didn't know where the alarm was coming from, but I did know that the alarm was going to attract walkers. As long as Harry and I stayed in the cell, we'd be safe from the walkers.

"Mommy, what us going on?" Harry asked, as he clung to me like a koala.

"I don't know, baby, but I'm hoping all of the others are safe." I replied, trying to soothe my son.

"Can we go find them?" He whimpered, causing me to frown.

"We're safe in here, Harry. I don't know if it's a good idea to go out there, especially with the alarm blaring." I answered, and he nodded sadly.

       Once the alarm had ended, I waited for about five minutes before opening the cell door once again. Holding Harry's hand, I cautiously led him outside to where the others were, my knife held tightly in my other hand. As soon as we were outside, Glenn spotted us and ran over.

"Are you two alright?" He asked, causing me to nod.

"Yes, I made sure Harry and I stayed in the kids' cell with the cell door closed," I replied, and he nodded,"Are you all alright?" I asked, trying to scan the group to see who wasn't there.

"T-Dog, Carol, Lori, Maggie, and uh, Carl are missing. We lost them in the chaos, but we know they're somewhere within the prison. We're going to find them." Glenn said, and my heart began to beat erratically in my chest.

"Missing?! Are you serious?! I have to go find him!" I exclaimed, as I tried to walk towards the area of the prison where the others had disappeared.

"No. You have to stay with Harry, Rachel. We will find them. We--" Glenn began, but was cut off when he heard the gated door open.

        I looked over and my eyes widened when I seen the baby in Maggie's arms. Maggie was crying and Carl had his head down, not making eye contact with any of the group.

"Where's Lori?" Rick asked, causing my stomach to twist uneasily.

"Rick--" Maggie began, but Rick knew the answer before she could even finish her sentence.

"No!" He cried out, and began to murmur the word over and over.

      Daryl walked over to him and tried to get his attention, but he couldn't really get Rick's attention. Watching Daryl struggle, I walked over towards Rick and stood in front of him.

"Rick? Can you hear me?" I asked, seeing how very unreadable the emotions were in his eyes.

       Rick growled, before grabbing an axe and leaving all of us behind as he stormed into the prison where Maggie, Carl, and the baby had came from. I felt a little upset when I seen how terribly Rick took the news of Lori, since he had told me he was over her, but I also understood why he was upset, since he was his son's birth mother. Frowning, I placed Harry's hand in Beth's, before I walked over to Carl and crouched down so I could see his face. He didn't look as unreadable as Rick, but I could tell her death did effect him in some way.

"Are you alright?" I whispered, placing my hand on his arm to try and comfort him.

"I did it." He murmured, causing my eyebrows to furrow.

"Did what?" I asked, as his eyes connected with mine.

"I made sure she wouldn't turn." He said quietly, his voice barely audible.

"Oh, sweetheart." I cooed, as I stood up and pulled Carl into my arms.

       He buried his face in my chest, as he tried to hold himself together. I knew he faught with Lori, and told her a few times that she wasn't his mother, but deep down she still meant something to him, even if he didn't want to show it. I ran my fingers through his hair lightly, soothing the boy that clung to me with so much sadness.

"It'll be alright, Carl. You still have your father and baby sister." I said, and he picked up his head to look at me.

"I have you and Harry, too." He replied, and I nodded.

"You always will. I promise. We'll be with you forever." I answered, and he sighed.

       Daryl and Maggie soon left to pick up formula, as the rest of us headed back to our cell block. We hoped Carol and T-Dog would find their way back to us, but we weren't even sure if they were alive.

"C-can I talk to you?" Carl asked, and I nodded.

     Carl motioned for me to follow him to his cell, which I did without question. Beth had agreed to watch Harry so Carl and I could talk, since she figured the talk was to help Carl cope with the loss of Lori.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked quietly, avoiding eye contact for a moment.

"Whatever you say to me will stay between us. You can tell me anything. I won't judge you, Carl." I replied, and he nodded slightly.

"When I watched her die because of the baby, I--it hurt, but not because she was gone." He began, and I looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked, causing him to sigh.

"Losing her made me afraid I'd lose you. I'm scared to lose you, or Harry, or Dad. You are like a mom to me, Rachel, and I don't want you to leave me." He murmured, his voice cracking towards the end.

     Instead of saying anything to Carl, I simply wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into me once again. I hoped to never leave his or Harry's side, but I could never be sure. I wished him and Harry could have a normal life, but it seemed that was never going to happen...

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A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter. I am so sorry for not updating. Sometimes I forget some of my stories, since I have so many that I am working on. I will try to update this one more frequently.

Love you guys!

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