Guns and Roses (Rick Grimes)

Chapter Fifteen

Song of the Chapter: Walk Me Home by Pink

     Today I had woken up just about the time the sun was beginning to rise. I watched the sun rise, staring at the beautiful pinks, purples and oranges of the clouds. I hadn't been able to sit and enjoy the sunrise or sunset in months, maybe even close to a year by now. I hated missing the sunrise and sunset but I couldn't act like nothing was going on in the world around me. Everything was turning for the worst each day and I couldn't pretend like it was back to how it all was before. If it was, maybe people would realize just how lucky they had it before and not take life for granted.

       As the sun slowly rose to day, I watched as everyone else began to stir awake. If they had been awake an hour or more before, they could've seen the sunrise as well. Such a beautiful thing that made everything not seem so terrible. Maybe the sunrise only lasted ten or fifteen, maybe twenty, minutes but it was all worth it. To clear the mind of everything running through it, just for a few minutes, before everything crashed back in like an ocean wave, crumbling the small, beautiful sand castle built by the sun.

"We're going to get one block cleared today and see how much farther we can push through once we've found safety." Rick stated, as everyone was eating.

       I wasn't very hungry, but I still ate my handful of stale crackers, so I'd have enough energy to make it through the day. I had learned that the less I eat, the more I'm susceptible to being taken down by a walker. I really didn't want to become a walker's lunch, so I made sure each day I at least ate a little bit of food to keep my body going.

"Who's all going with you?" Carol asked, causing me to look over at Rick in wonder.

"Glenn, Maggie, T-Dog, and Daryl." Rick replied, making me frown.

        As if he knew I wasn't happy with his words, he stood to his feet and walked away. I looked down at the boys, given Carl a small smile, letting him know to watch out for Harry, before I followed after Rick.

"Hey, you know I had planned to come with you all." I stated, making Rick turn around and look at me.

"Yes, I did." He replied shortly, before trying to turn and walk away.

"Rick, what the hell?!" I exclaimed, as I grabbed his arm and made him look at me.

"What?" He asked, as if he didn't just say that he knew I had wanted to go with them.

"You can't expect me to just sit at the sidelines. I'm more than capable at helping you guys clear out a cell block. Why, all of a sudden, did you decide I couldn't do it?" I asked, as a scowl stayed on my face.

"Look, we don't have time to discuss this. Just do as I say for once in your life." Rick snapped, causing me to gasp.

"Excuse me?! I've been doing as you've wanted me to do since I ended up with your group! Don't act like I'm some bimbo who's decided to do whatever they want without anyone's permission!" I spat, as he sigh.

"Just, please Rachel. We'll discuss this tonight once everything's sorted." Rick stated, causing me to nod.

     I walked away, back towards the boys, before the five mission runners went off to do what they were supposed to do. I always hated odd numbers, so I couldn't help but feel like something bad was going to happen when it came to odd numbers. I knew each person could take care of themselves but I hated the idea of them getting in any sort of trouble.

"Mommy, are they going to be okay?" Harry asked, making me nod.

"They'll come back. They have too much to fight for to just give up." I replied, as both boys laid against me.

      I could feel Lori's glare on me, making me frown just a bit. I couldn't fix everything that she had broken, but I was at least going to try.

        After about an hour, the mission runners came back and told us the cell block was clear. So, I grabbed mine and Harry's bags, as Carl grabbed his own, before we headed into the prison. Rick led us to the cell block, before allowing us to go inside.

"Is it secure?" Carol asked, as we went and looked at all the cells.

"This cell block is. We're going to push through as much as we can before nightfall." Rick replied, before walking towards me.

        I walked into a cell and laid my stuff on the floor, as Rick walked in after me.

"Do you want to go ahead and talk about this?" He asked, causing me to sigh.

"I just want you to understand that I can do stuff, Rick. I'm more than just a mother, I'm a fighter. I can do more than you're putting me up to." I said, as Rick looked at the floor.

"I know but I just don't want to see you get hurt. If you get bit, scratched, it'll tear the whole group apart. Not to mention the boys, they'll be crushed. I just don't want you doing something that could get you killed." Rick stated, making me smile slightly.

"Rick, every day is harder to protect yourself. Life is dangerous, a death sentence now. I'm scared that one day we'll all be gone. Each night I dream of the worst possible outcome. I just want to be able to prove to myself and everyone else that nothing can get passed me. I want to feel strong, empowered, almost indestructible." I replied, causing Rick to smile slightly as well.

"Not today, since I want you to watch over everyone here, but tomorrow I'd like you to help us fix up the fences and other things we're going to be working on." Rick said, causing me to quickly hug him.

"Thank you. You won't be disappointed. I promise I can take care of myself and everyone here." I answered, as I kissed his cheek.

      I quickly let go of him, my cheeks reddening. I did not mean to kiss his cheek. He bit his lip and stared at me for a moment, before sending me shy smile and walked away. I slid down the wall on to the floor and sighed. I knew I just ruined our friendship, relationship, what ever it was...

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A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter. So, how was this chapter? What do you guys think?

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