Guns and Roses (Rick Grimes)

Chapter Twenty

      I had tried to keep the peace between everyone while Rick was gone, but the was proving harder than anticipated. Everyone seemed to be rather difficult to please, since Rick wasn't around to help dictate some options and opinions between everyone. Carl was worried about his dad, which I completely understood. He tried to help often, but I didn't want him hurting himself trying to do too much to pick up his father's slack.

       I understood why Rick was gone, but I also didn't. He swore that he hated Lori for everything she did to him and to Carl, but once she was gone, he went off and became crazy. It was like he had realized he had loved Lori more than he wanted to admit. I would never wish death on anyone, but I also didn't really see much difference around the prison from now and from when Lori was still alive. She didn't make much of a difference if you ask me, but I also didn't think the baby deserved to grow up without her real mother.

        Since a name hadn't been picked out for the baby girl yet, Daryl had given her a nickname for the time being. He had nicknamed her Lil' Ass Kicker, which I honestly believed was adorable. Baby naming was left up to Carl, but even he was unsure of what to name his sister. He had even asked Harry for some ideas, but nobody wanted to name the baby Batman, so Harry wasn't giving the best ideas. Harry may be adorable, but he was terrible at baby naming. I almost hoped for his future wife's sake, that he'd become better at naming babies, or give her the chance to name the baby without his crazy ideas thrown in.

      Rick had come through a few days later, asking how everyone was. It was weird, but he didn't stay long. He ran back off into the prison. He had told us that he had killed almost two dozen walkers inside of the prison, but I wasn't sure where exactly he had gone. He swore the phone in the prison was ringing and that he was talking to someone, but Hershel had went to talk to him and nobody was on the phone. The phone wasn't even plugged in, which made me wonder how sane Rick really was. I was worried about him more and more as he seemed to lose himself and his sanity.

"Do you think Dad will be normal soon?" Carl asked, as he and I sat outside by the fences while we looked out over the field of walkers.

"I hope so. The group is starting to get antsy. I've picked up what slack I can, but some of it only your dad can do," I replied, and I watched his face seem to stay crestfallen,"Ya know, you're not that young anymore. You could always help make some of the decisions for the group. We've had a group meeting almost every day since your dad...but you could always sit in and help us make decisions. Glenn is supposedly in charge for now, but they do look at me for most of the decisions for some reason. You can help me make decisions. You'll be my second in command." I said, and he smiled.

"I-I'd like that." He answered, stuttering slightly.

      He tried not to show his disappointment when it came to talking about or thinking about his dad. He didn't want to upset Harry or Lil' Ass Kicker with his emotions, but I knew he was upset. I didn't want Carl to feel like he had to suppress his feelings because of Harry and his baby sister, but he wanted to be strong. He wanted everyone to think he was strong, even when he had every right to be not as strong as he normally would be. Sighing, I wrapped my arm around Carl's shoulder and pulled him into my side. He laid his head on my shoulder and sighed as well, his hat falling off of his head and on to the ground behind us.

"Your dad will be back to normal soon, Carl, but until he is, I will be here with you for whatever you need whenever you need me." I stated, as I began to run my fingers through his long hair.

"Even when Dad is back, do you promise not to leave me?" He asked, and I sighed.

"Carl, I don't know how well your dad and I are going to be when he comes back. I have a feeling we'll be a bit strained. He might not be comfortable with me being around you and your sister." I replied, causing him to frown.

"I don't care. You've been here for me since the farm. I don't want you to go away just because you and dad aren't talking to each other anymore." Carl said, and I bit my lip.

"I know, but I don't want to step on any toes--" I began, before Carl cut me off.

"You're my mom, Rachel. Lori wasn't a mom, not after the world ended. You're the one who protects me. You're the one who cares if I eat, if I'm safe, if I'm warm, and if I'm healthy. You gave me your last bit of food because you wanted Harry and I to eat. You loved me and cared for me when Lori didn't. If Dad doesn't like it, I don't care. I'm not leaving you behind and neither is my sister, because you're our mother. Please don't leave me just because of Dad." He stated, his voice trailing to whisper when he pleaded with me.

      I frowned but pulled Carl closer and kissed the top of his head.

"Carl, I will never leave you or your sister behind. I love you both as much as I love Harry. Though I don't want to upset your father, I won't leave you both behind because of him. You're my kids, and I'm not giving up on you because of him." I murmured, as I felt him wrap both of his arms around my waist.

      I wrapped my other arm around him and pulled him to my chest, as he buried his face in my neck. I knew he was emotional right now, but I didn't want to lie to him. I was worried about mine and Rick's relationship later on when he finally came back to the group. I wasn't leaving him and his sister alone though, even if it was the last thing I ever did...

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A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter. So, what do you guys think? I'll try to have an update up every couple of days.

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