Guns and Roses (Rick Grimes)

Chapter Seventeen

Song of the Chapter: Sippy Cup by Melanie Martinez

      Once Carl had stomped up the stairs and across the perch, I heard him walk into the cell. Looking up, I seen him staring at me. I could see the hurt in his eyes, causing my heart to break. I held one of my arms out, beckoning for him to come over. As if I was giving him gold, he darted over to me and laid himself against my side. I wrapped my arm around him and held him close to me.

"What happened, Carl?" I asked, causing him to sigh.

"I went and found the infirmary. I was getting supplies for Herschel, since they were running out. I only killed two walkers, but Lori had a freak out." Carl answered, causing me to nod.

"Well, she is your mother, Carl-" I began, before he cut me off.

"No, not anymore. She lost that months ago. She's only got Shane's baby now." He spat, as I bit my lip.

"Alright, well, maybe she's acting like that because she's afraid of what your Dad will say to her." I commented, not sure what else I was supposed to say.

      Everything was silent for a moment, before Carl looked up at me from underneath his sheriff hat.

"You're not disappointed in me, are you?" He asked, causing me to shake my head.

"Of course not, Carl. I know you were just doing what you thought was best. You did put yourself in harm's way, but I know you're a tough little man and you can handle yourself." I said, siding hugging him tightly.

         After a few moments, I decided to lay Harry back down on his bed. Looking over, I seen that Carl had fallen asleep as well. Smiling to myself, I carefully laid both boys down, before I exited their cell. When I turned away from their doorway, I was startled by Lori standing close to me.

"You need to keep a better eye on Carl." She said, causing me to scoff.

"Don't go telling me how to be a parent. I've been taking care of him and Harry just fine without anyone telling me how to do it. Besides, you don't get a say in how I do anything. You lost that privilege after the farm, remember?" I retorted, as she sighed.

       Instead of walking away, Lori pulled me into my cell and sat down on my bed. She motioned for me to sit next to her, which I obliged to slowly. I wasn't sure what she wanted or was going to do, but I had to be ready for it. I wouldn't hit a pregnant lady, but if she came at me first, I don't know if I'd have another choice in the matter.

"Look, I'm not going to fight with you anymore, Rachel. I seen you and Rick earlier, and I realized now that I really have lost him. I screwed up, but I know you won't. He deserves someone like you, someone who won't hurt him, Carl, too. What Carl said earlier hurt, but then I realized, he was right. I wasn't his mother, not anymore, and I hadn't been for months. You had stepped up to the plate and taken the role that I had taken for granted. I don't want it to sound like I hate you anymore. I do loathe you, yes, but only because you're a better mother than I ever was. I want to thank you for being the one they needed." She stated, causing my eyes to widen.

"Lori, where is this all coming from?" I asked, making her sigh.

"I haven't felt the baby move in a while. I think it might be gone. I don't know if they're infected, but if it is, I don't want to turn and hurt any of you. I want you to put me down, or get someone else to do it, but don't let Rick or Carl do it. I know they'll regret everything, which is exactly what I don't want them doing to you." She said, as I quickly shook my head.

"No, Lori I think you and the baby are just exhausted. You need to lie down and get some rest." I replied, and she nodded with a sigh.

"I will, but I need you to promise me that you'll keep doing exactly what you're doing. Don't ever feel bad for being the better person. You always were such a great girl and you're so bright. Don't let this world take that away from you, especially for the sake of Carl and Harry. Your boys need you." She commented, as she stood up.

"Lori-" I began, but she smiled and shook her head.

"I'm accepting it now, Rachel. I always will," She started, before turning towards the doorway,"I'm going to lay down and maybe check on Herschel. Your boy did a good job finding supplies." She finished, walking out of the cell.

       Once she was safely down the stairs, I laid on my bed with a sigh. I couldn't believe what Lori had said. Her words sounded as if she was giving up on her life. I didn't want to believe it, so I tried to push it off on her exhaustion. Everyone said weird things when they were exhausted, it wasn't nothing new. Hell, even Daryl would act funny, and he never seemed tired.

      I needed rest, just as much as everyone else. I didn't even want to eat tonight, but I knew that I really didn't have a choice. Rick wouldn't let me go without eating, and neither would Maggie or Glenn or Carol. For some reason, I believed Lori wouldn't now either, even though she did have some resentment towards me. I knew she always would, though her words she spoke were so nice and civil. Even if she had come to terms with the current situation, it didn't mean she came to terms with me being in her life...

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A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter. So, like I said, there will be more chapters following this, since I took forever updating. With quarantine, I have way more time to write. I've already finished two books, I'm hoping to finish way more by the end of quarantine.

Love you guys!

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