Guns and Roses (Rick Grimes)

Chapter Twelve

Song of the Chapter: I Need Your Love by Calvin Harris featuring Ellie Goulding

      Three months of being on the road, constantly walking, fighting for our lives, and being deprived of food and water wasn't easy. When we'd find food, I'd make sure they boys ate, rather I had any or not. Rick wasn't happy about that but I didn't care. I'd rather the boys have food and water before I did. Most people seemed to be worried about feeding Lori for her baby, so I only worried about my family. I didn't worry about someone who would watch another person die of hunger before she'd give them her last cracker.

       Anyhow, after hours of walking, it had turned to around evening. The sun was close to seting and the boys were tired. It had started gotten colder during the nights, and the days weren't much better. Like Rick promised, our first stop, he got me a jacket. He had also found warmer ones for the boys, so they weren't freezing through the winter.
 
      The closer it came to sun set, the more people lagged. After about an hour though, we seen a building further up the road. As we got closer, we realized it was a house. Everyone seemed to have a pep in their step, as we got closer to the house. Rick, Daryl, Glenn and T-Dog went inside to search the house. Rick had been bringing Carl, to teach him how to search a house but with how tired Carl looked, he let him stay with Harry and I.

"Momma, I'm hungry." Harry whimpered, causing me to pull him closer.

"We'll eat when we get inside." I said, as he laid his head down on my shoulder.

      Soon, the guys came out and we were able to bring stuff inside. Everyone sat in the living room, glad to finally be off of their feet. Since we had stocked up on water on our last stop, I was able to hand both boys a bottle of water.

"There's three bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs. I'm reserving one of the downstairs rooms for Carl, Harry and Rachel. Everyone else can figure out where they want to stay for the night." Rick stated, as Lori glared at him.

     She was still angry with him and tried countless times to make him change his mind or for someone else to feel like he was wrong but nothing happened. She was in her own pity party. As Carol and Maggie searched the kitchen for food, I pulled out a pack of pop tarts. I opened it and handed both of the boys a strawberry pop tart each to eat.

"You need to eat, too, Rachel." Carl said, as I shook my head.

"I'm fine, as long as you both are eating." I replied, giving him no place to argue.

"You had food?!" Lori exclaimed, causing Rick to look over at us.

"Yes, I only had a couple things but it was for the boys. No one else got any." I said, as her glare turned as cold as ice.

"You could've given me some food, instead of me starving, but instead you kept it to yourself." She sneered, as I growled in anger.

"Lori, just stop. She said she kept it for the boys. The boys. She didn't eat any, I didn't, Maggie, Carol. Nobody but the boys had some. They're children, Lori. They need food." Rick stated, as she frowned.

"I do, too." She said, causing him to shake his head.

"So does everyone else. Rachel needs it most. She's been giving her share to the boys." Rick replied, as Lori looked shocked.

"I'm pregnant. I need it most." She argued, making him roll his eyes.

      Instead of getting all worked up over the little banter she was trying to cause, he just shook it off and walked away. Once they found food, they brought it over and passed it out. Rick handed me a full sleeve of fig bars, before he sat down with a pack of crackers.

"This is a lot, Rick." I murmured, trying not to let everyone else hear.

"Well, I know you'll be sharing with the boys. Might as well have enough to share where you get some, too." Rick replied, causing me to smile lightly.

      After eating the food, everyone decided to find the rooms they would be sleeping in. The room with the biggest bed downstairs, Rick decided to reserve for the boys and I. He decided to do overnight watch, which didn't sit well with me. He needed rest, no matter how stubborn he was trying to be.

      Anyhow, about an hour later, everyone was settled into bed. It was pretty dark in the house, except for the light from the stars and moon. As I watched the boys sleep, I heard pacing in the living room. I knew it was Rick, so I sighed and got out of bed. I headed into the living room by him.

"You're supposed to be sleeping." Rick stated, making me sigh.

"Can't sleep." I replied, trying not to tell him that I was worried about him.

      I walked over and stood beside him, as we gazed out of the window.

"What's wrong Rick? I heard you pacing." I asked, causing him to sigh.

"I just-I feel like I'm failing the group, the boys. No matter how hard I try, I can't find enough of anything. I haven't even found us shelter. I can't provide for my family and it feels like I can't even protect them." Rick said, causing me to frown.

"Rick-" I began, before he cut me off.

"You should've heard it. The other day, when we were searching that house, Carl asked me if we were ever going to be safe. He said he was worried about me, about Harry, about you. He said he was scared that he'd lose us because we don't have a safe home right now. I-I'm failing to provide for my family, Rachel." Rick cried, before I wrapped my arms around him.

      I held him in a hug, as his arms wrapped tightly around me as well. He buried his face in my neck and hair, as I held him close to me.

"I believe in you Rick. You've gotten us this far and not one person has even ended up sick or hurt. You're an amazing leader, amazing father and even if you don't see it, you're doing your very best to provide for your family. Your son sees it, he's just scared. Every child is scared when it comes to things like this, Rick. I trust you with mine and Harry's lives and if I knew you weren't getting us anywhere, do you really think I'd still be here? You're doing your best. You're doing your job and that's all that anyone can ask for." I stated, making him sigh in content.

      As the moon and stars gleamed into the house, we stayed in our position. Rick just needed support and reassurance and to me, it seemed that he felt like I was the right person to give it to him...

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A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter. So, what do you guys think?!??! Fights with Lori, talks with Rick. It seems to me tensions and emotions are rising.

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