Same Stars Of Yesterday (book 2)

"A Job Offer"

CXLVI.
~:•:~

Dawn's POV:

"Mrs. Carolina~" I spoke retreating my hands.

"Choose one, dear..." She insisted and she stood parallel to me presenting the three objects. "When the option spells death, how would you execute it to yourself? People all have their shadows in life. These shadows are all darkness. And death is from darkness for there is no light in the eyes of a dead person. Now Dawn, how do you choose to die??"

I bit my lip already with the dilemma that I couldn't even choose not to choose. Is it necessary that I have to choose?

I looked at the three things once again. Never have I thought that I would die by my hands... I am aware that I would die one day but not with an option of doing it to myself intentionally.

"Mrs. Carolina..." I began processing the words that I wanted to say.

I already extended my arm to choose one among the objects but I retreated once again. I couldn't do it... I couldn't make a choice...

I lowered my head and my trembling hands were by my side. What is this for?? A trial??

"I- I'm sorry, Mrs. Carolina..." I could only say. "I'm sorry... But I- I can't kill myself just because of that reason~ Even it is not in the option, I would want to be alive... If I can't find a reason to live because of what I did, still, I want life... I- I just can't die in vain."

My trembling hands trembled more than ever and I expected to hear something but Mrs. Carolina turned around as if something afftected her thought.

The next thing I knew, I heard her sniffing and it was really strange. Later, I felt two arms to have encircled around me and Mrs. Carolina's tears streamed down her cheeks that I had no idea what I should do. What could I have felt??

I felt warmth~ At the same time, I was confused...

"For a long time..." Mrs. Carolina spoke in between her sobs while I was still encircled in her arms. "I have been searching for an answer. I have been fixed to the option. I have considered death to be my only fate. But I never felt relieved. I never found peace. I am already old and I have seen more walks of life than you, dear... But at the end of the road, I often found a dead end. How can you desire to live by then?"

"Mrs. Carolina."

I felt her embrace to have became tighter and I am really confused being uncomfortable at the same time.

After a few more minutes, she let me go. She wiped her tears and fixed her clothes and she led me by the window to look outside and see the buildings, roads, and such.

"What was your greatest longing to have, dear?"

I only kept silent. Being with Mrs. Carolina today is not something I could experience everyday.

I simply looked outside the window and felt the breeze that it was somehow warm.

"I- I long for?? I think it is my family~" I said being quiet afterwards.

Having said those, I was not able to contain myself and I averted my eyes unable to prevent them from tearing up.

"Family? I see... I have already heard from your sister about your parents~"