Friday at Midnight (Levi x OC)

5

(song rec: Daddy Issues slowed- The neighborhood)

I helped guide him towards the sofa, he laid down and I kneeled by his side. "What happened to you?", my hand brushed the hair our of his face. His hand held mine on his face, his forest green eyes met mine, "I'm so sorry Salem, I've been such a shitty boyfriend to you and you- you don't deserve it", his eyes watering. He sniffled, "My dad is just- he's just a piece of shit and I got his temper", "You don't deserve this- me- I'm going to be better- better for you, I promise, I'll stop using, please", tears started to fall down his face. "Please don't leave".

"Shh, it's okay, I'm here", I held him tightly as he sobbed. I've never seen him like this. I pulled back and my thumb grazed his cheek, "When I was kid- he- he used to hurt my mom"... "I hated seeing her get hurt... so one day... I fought back... and he broke two of my ribs", his eyes watering as he spoke. My eyes started to water. He didn't deserve that. No one deserves that.

"So every time he lost his temper... he started hurting me and not my mom", he sniffled, "I was happy that my mom was safe... but it came at a price". "I'm so sorry", tears started to fall down my face. "I could never do anything right... everything I did...was... wrong"... "Almost as if he hated me for just being there.. being alive... it killed me". "I was never going to be good enough for him... I could never make him proud- fuck... all I wanted was for him to be proud of me". Tears fell down his face, mixing with the blood from his nose and mouth. "I don't want to be like him", he sobbed into my chest as he held me close. I stroked his locks, "I know.. I know... it's okay... let it all out", my tone was soft.

He was broken. Damaged. His father did this to him. There's no excuse for the way he treats me, but I get it now. He didn't know any better. He didn't know love. He was filled with so much rage, hate. His father ruined him. And he was scared, scared he would turn out like him. Scared that he would one day, become the monster he feared so much. At first, I didn't get it, but now I understand. I'm so sorry Eren, I'm sorry he did this to you.

"It didn't happen as much when I got older.. bigger... stronger"... "He knew I could fight back... it wouldn't be as easy to break me". He clutched tightly onto my shirt, "So I got stronger... stronger so if one day... he tried to hurt me-my mom... I would be able to protect her... protect myself", sobs and cries escaped his lips as he vented. "I'm going to be better okay- I wont be like him- I'm going to be better for you- I don't deserve to be loved the way you love me", he held my face close to his. "I love you so much Salem, please don't leave", I held his hand on my face, "I love you Eren, so much", tears streamed down my face, "I'm here, I'm right here".

We held each other close, sniffles and tears coming from both of us. I pulled away, "Let's get you cleaned up", I smiled as I wiped the tears from his face. I cleaned his wounds and bandaged them up. As soon as I finished the last bandage, "What happened to you?", my voice soft. "Ran into some bad people that I owe money to", I shut my eyes softly, "You need to be careful- you", I paused, "You need to stop using". He sighed, "I know...I'll get clean, I promise", he smiled painfully. I kissed his forehead, "I'm glad you're safe".

We both showered and slipped on some pjs, getting ready for bed. I laid on his chest as his hand combed through my hair. I had missed this. My hand tracing random shapes on his chest as he drifted off into sleep. I love Eren, I love him so much. But this was the moment I knew. I wasn't in love with him anymore.

I laid in bed, feeling empty, waiting for the sun to rise. I saw the sun staring to come up. I left the bed and stripped down in the bathroom. I looked at my pale body. I could see my ribcage clearly. Skin and bones. My face looked hollow. I looked sick. I hate this person. My eyes sunk inside my skull, the dark circles prominent under my eyes. My eyes looked tired, dull. The bruise on my face now yellow. "I hate you", I whispered to my reflection.