An hour later as the moonlight peeks through the window Rafael and Olivia settle into Rafael's living area. Olivia snuggles close to Rafael and rests her head on his chest. The beating of his heart soothes her. It feels so right. Rafael looks down at Olivia and smiles at the sight of the beautiful woman who has given her heart and her trust to him. The two stay like that in blissful silence. Rafael starts to feel his leg starts to itch, he tries to reach it but he doesn't realize that his fingers brush Liv's waist. It causes her to jump
"Liv what's wrong?"
Olivia touches her waist. Rafael realizes what happened and his heart drops
"Liv I'm so sorry I didn't mean to. I, I"
Rafael starts to panic, worried he had just ruined everything. Olivia puts her hand on his arm and gives him a small smile
"It's okay Rafael. I know you would never hurt me. I trust you"
"This is really eating at you isn't Liv"
"Yeah. I never really thought of it before, but I really can't handle anyone touching me without warning. It scares me, Rafael, it really does. And this isn't the first time he's done it.
Rafael's voice comes out in a whisper of anger and disbelief
"What?"
"I know I told you how he backed me into the corner in the precinct to get into the interrogation room."
Rafael remembers. Olivia called him completely distraught and frustrated after Elliot nearly pummeled a perp to the ground, Rafael had some very choice words for the man but instead of focusing on himself, like Elliot would, he tried his best to comfort Liv.
"But at Kathy's funeral, he grabbed my arm and I felt something in me snap. I had to pull away before. Before he saw I was broken."
Olivia can't hold it back anymore. She starts to cry.
Rafael was thinking of how he should comfort Olivia. He loved her with every beat of his heart.
"I'm here. Right here in whatever way you need me to support you, I will."
"He broke me Rafael, he brought back memories of some of the worst things I ever experienced in my life when he touched me like that, and now I can't even spend one night with the man I love without getting scared."
She turns to look at Rafael, her eyes red from crying, a hollowness behind them.
"How can you want to be with me if I can barely even hug you?" I need help believing you want to be with me Rafael because I just wish I could be beautiful and whole for you. You deserve nothing less than someone who can give you that."
Rafael was thinking for a moment. What did he do to deserve her anyway? He left like the others but came back. He came back with a heart for her. He needed to support the woman he loved with every fiber of his being.
"Olivia I'm not going to deny feeling sorry for not being right here for you when you needed me then, and I'm not going to deny you saying you feel broken because invalidating everything you've been through is the last thing I want to do. What I do want to do is remind you how you've made me a better me. You're my inspiration. Your scars, physical, emotional, mental all of them, are a testament to your strength. I wish I could take your pain away from years ago. I wish I could take away the pain you have now. You mean everything to me Olivia and if I have to spend the rest of my days showing you just how beautiful I think you are I will because I am enchanted by you Olivia, and I know it seems crazy but somehow it's up that I fell."
