For those of our readers who don't know Broadway composer and lyricist Stephen Sondheim passed away yesterday at the age of 91. This man was a giant in the theater community and he inspired so many including our very own Rafael Barba- Raul Esparza. The song we have included in this chapter is our way of paying tribute to him. Sondheim wrote for everyone and now we get to share one of his greatest songs with you
Rafael's song is Being Alive from Company (Raúl's version of course): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGstwWx1bZI
When Rafael woke up the next morning, he noticed Olivia in a peaceful slumber next to him. He was grateful to have the woman he loved next to him and wanting to support him through this healing process. He had been careful not to wake her through the night so she could rest but he found her peaceful sleep comforting. He could see the sun shining on the crown of Olivia's head and gave a smile. This wasn't how he imagined his first time in Olivia's bed being, but he had found comfort in the fact she trusted him to share her bed. He knew she was willing to stay up with him to comfort him through his nightmares but she had her own nightmares to deal with. He prayed she was handling them.
Rafael slowly got up from the bed to use the bathroom. He didn't want to wake Olivia so he took careful steps on his own. His body was sore and tired and would eventually need Olivia's help with taking a shower. He'd ask her about it later but for right now he was looking at himself in the mirror again. As much as he wanted to believe Olivia that she loved him all the same, with or without the scars, it was hard for him to believe it. Every time he would look at himself, he'd be reminded of what could have been.
Rafael unbuttoned his pajama shirt and looked at his neatly bandaged chest. Olivia cared for him deeply and made sure he was staying healthy by doing the simple things like changing his bandages and making sure he was taking his medication. He just wished he could do something for her to show his love and appreciation for Olivia. They weren't as close as they were now when William Lewis shook her world but he had watched her overcome their day to day interactions. Maybe the same would be true for him as well. They were more than friends, they were lovers now and it seemed harder than ever to just enjoy growing intimate together when they were both mentally scarred and Rafael was physically scarred.
Olivia woke up and noticed Rafael wasn't in bed. She knew how scary it could be in his condition to feel or be alone so she cautiously looked for him until she saw him looking at himself in the mirror.
"You okay?" She said softly.
Rafael was startled at Olivia's voice until he saw her standing in the doorway.
"Rafa is everything alright? Was something starting to hurt?"
"No Liv, nothing hurts. I just."
He stops and Olivia stands beside him looking in the mirror.
"You just still can't believe it."
"Yeah."
Rafael looks at his bandages in the mirror again before gripping the counter and closing his eyes just wishing it would all go away, even if only for a moment. He wills himself not to cry as that's the last thing he wants right now. Olivia has already seen him at his weakest; he doesn't want to make things worse. He lets go of the countertop and tries to turn around by himself but he does so too quickly and gets dizzy. He almost falls to the floor before Olivia catches him. Rafael feels like an idiot for pushing himself and feels incredibly ashamed for having to have Olivia pick up the pieces. Olivia is glad she caught him in time but when his arm brushes against her shoulder trying to regain some balance, something seems off to her. She has to push the bile back down in her throat and remind herself that the only one here right now is Rafael.
