My Property

Irreversible mistake

~Malia~

I tuck my head into his chest, as I force myself to seal my eyes shut. Everything happened so fast, it hardly feels real. I feel the warmth of my own tears, drip down onto my cheek, as Lorenzo's palm sends comforting strokes in circles around my back. Flashbacks from last night, kept hitting me everytime my mind started to drift off.

𝑀𝑦 𝑒𝑦𝑒'𝑠 𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑤 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠, 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑙. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑔𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑑. 𝐼 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑦 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑥𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒.

My hands gripped tight through the strands of my hair, as the paranoia was getting to me. Im in complete disbelief of my actions, I didn't even feel aware when I was committing the mistake.

what have I done?

"Malia" Lorenzo hushed, his hands holding my face close to his. I didn't want to look at him, I was too ashamed. "Malia please".

"I killed him" I cried, tears streaming down my face.

I actually killed someone.

𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑘. 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛, 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎n 𝑎𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝐵𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 ℎ𝑢𝑓𝑓𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑡ℎ, 𝑎𝑠 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑝 𝑜𝑛 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑡.

𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑, 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑒, 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑛𝑎𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑦. 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑖 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠, 𝑠𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑. 𝑀𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑟, 𝑎𝑠 𝑖 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦.

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛,

"I shot him",

Lorenzo curled his arms around me, bringing me closer to him. I felt empty, yet somehow ridiculous for sniffling in such a childish manner. My body felt numb, the only thing I could feel was the aching pain in my chest.

"It's my fault" Lorenzo sighs,

"No" I object, looking up to face him, "I was stupid to think I could ignore the death of all this."