That Summer In The Country

Forty-eight:

Forty-eight:

Alina tried very hard not to cry when she entered her aunt's home. "So," she said softly, "let's pack everything up, shall we?"

Anya shook her head. "The furniture all belongs to them. The only thing I really need to pack are my clothes and my books."

"Right," said Alina, "and I've just got my backpack. Um."

They set about getting their things in silence. Alina wanted to try to talk to her aunt about what had happened with the car, but she could not bring herself to. She was too angry. Alina had spent most of her life traveling, on the boat with her parents. The place she had called home, metaphorically, had always been with the Morozova's.

"Come on girl," her aunt said, standing in the hall of her room, "come on. You shouldn't lag. We don't have time."

Alina didn't have much to pack anyway. She doubted that Aleksander would be keen to let her take the things he'd gotten her. Alina wasn't sure there was anything that she'd want anyway. The dresses she'd worn to please Aleksander and Mal. She was more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of a girl anyway. She could make do, but she could make it a chance to see him again....

Perhaps she could talk some sense into him.

"Where's your head, Alina? We've got to go," Ana said.

"Go where?" Alina said. "We've always lived here. This has always been our home."

Ana sighed. "Do you think that I have lived all of this time and never had a home of my own? Of course, we've always lived on the Morozova estate, but this isn't home. Come on. Duva isn't glamorous, but our home is ours."

"Right."

The two of them went downstairs, put their things in Ana Kuya's car. As they drove away, Alina caught sight of The Great House. She saw Aleksander there, standing at the front entrance, with another man. A man that Alina recognized as Aleksander's father. The two of them were talking, their heads bowed. For a moment, Alina could have sworn that Aleksander looked up and locked eyes with her.

But then, as soon as it happened, Aleksander was focused on his father again. There was something not right. Alina could feel it in her bones. Something had happened the night at the restaurant, and she needed desperately to know what it was.

"There's something wrong," Alina said as the two of them drove away.

"I know there's something wrong," said Ana, "I was a fool, and I did something that I shouldn't have. I thought I was protecting Genya. I thought that I was teaching Aleksander a lesson."

"You almost killed him."

"I saw the way that Genya acted around him," Ana told her, "And how can you defend him, Alina? You have to know that he was taking advantage of you."

"I'm not an idiot, aunt!" Alina snapped. "I know exactly what I'm doing. I wasn't conned into anything. I slept with Aleksander back in Novyi Zem."

Ana shot a look at her as she was driving. "How's that possible?"

"He was there," Alina told her, "And I didn't know it was him. He didn't know it was me. We were just two strangers, and when we got here, we just...you know I never had a safe place to land when I was a kid. I loved the life I had with my parents, obviously. But the thing of it is that I never had a home to call home.... except here, with you, and the Morozovas. The boys were both part of that. Aleksander, and Mal. They're the people that have been with me the longest. They're my constants, and I need them in my life, Aunt Ana. Because, eventually, I'm going to lose you too, and then I won't have anyone.... anyone that remembers that one time I was a girl who had a family and a life...."

Ana heaved a sigh. "They're not good for you. They're dangerous, and it doesn't matter now anyway. You're never going to see either of them ever again. Put them behind you."

Alina hated that she was right. Hadn't Mal told her that this would happen anyway? It was only for a summer. Not even that. But she had been foolish enough to believe that she was different from the other girls. Because they had a past, that had to mean that they had a future. But that didn't mean anything at all. The past could fade, and the future could be taken.

"I'm a fool, aren't I?" she said.

Ana said nothing for a long time, her mouth pressed into a firm line. "You're not a fool. You're a young girl. You were looking for love. That's all any of us want. It can't be helped if you looked for it in the wrong places. Sex isn't love, Alina. Sex is desire and control. It can be an expression of love, but it isn't love itself."

Alina gripped her hands tightly in her lap. "It felt like love. The two of them, with me..."

Ana sighed. "You'll figure it all out, girl. You're young. You've got your whole future ahead of you. You haven't even finished your schooling yet. You'll find your place. But your place isn't with the Morozova's. They don't love. The only thing they care about is money and power. That's it."

"You don't know them," Alina said.

"Do you?" Ana said.

She opened her mouth to say yes. But what did she know aside from having sex, the two of them, she didn't know a single thing about Aleksander or Mal. Maybe she was really just a summer fling, and nothing more.