The Wolf King and I

Chapter 34

The Wolf King and I
Chapter 34

All my life, I had always believed that I had no right to feel any emotion.

"Qingyuan! Qingyuan!" A happy voice is calling me from a distance.

Mabilis naman akong napalingon at nang makita ko ang Prinsipe Zhang Wei ay kaagad akong napayuko.

"Greetings, our royal highness." I greeted him.

Kahit na magka-edad lang kami ay malayo ang pagitan ng ranko naming dalawa.

He's a royal prince, while I'm just a general's son. Ang tanging dahilan lang kung bakit niya ako naging kaibigan ay dahil inutusan ako ng aking ama na makipag-kaibigan sa kanya.

"Qingyuan, look! I found a rabbit from the palace walls!" He excitedly exclaimed, then showed me the animal he had just found.

Coming from the mountains, it is not new to everyone that the newly found Prince of the empire is fond of animals.

He was just a simple and happy prince back then, so far from the evil schemes of the people around him.

But how could such a sweet and cheerful young prince...

"Qingyuan, the Crown Prince, killed Liwei. Tell me, what have I done to upset my brother?" He cried so hard that day when he found his pet rabbit lying dead on the floor of his palace.

...turned into something like this?

"Y-your highness, what do you mean that we need to kill the Emperor?"

Those cold, unfamiliar silver eyes turned to look at me for the very first time.

"Qingyuan," he said, and then a sad smile drew up on his face. "It seems like I can no longer prevent my hands from being tainted with blood."

For many years that I've stayed with his majesty, I've seen how he drastically changed over time.

His newly found power comes with the biggest price. Sitting on the throne as an Emperor made him lose so much.

He killed his own family and everyone who was a threat to his throne. His majesty has a heart, but in order to survive, he must lose his soul.

The great amount of betrayal and heartache that he has suffered created a monster that has conquered lands and beheaded thousands. The pain that I've witnessed with his majesty unknowingly changed me with time.

I've become a witness to how once a happy young prince's smile slowly turned into loathing and pain.

I was with him when he built his throne with his own enemies' blood and bones. The once happy young Prince Zhang Wei became vague in our memories and was finally forgotten with time.

Since then on, I could no longer show my true emotions. I feel like I don't have the right to feel any emotions when the person I looked up to carries a big wound on his chest.

Whenever I get hurt, I always compare my pain to the amount of pain that his majesty must have suffered all this time.

How can I get angry and get sad when whatever I'm feeling right now cannot be compared to the pain of his majesty?

But why...

"Qingyuan, it's okay to cry." She said.

...this woman would suddenly say that its okay for me to cry?

Naramdaman ko nalang na unti-unti ko ng nabitawan ang espadang balak ko sanang  bunutin para patayin siya.

What is this feeling?

My vision suddenly got blurred as I gazed into her face from where I stood.

No, this can't be happening.

Qingyuan, you must hold yourself together. His majesty said to himself that any kind of emotion is a poison to the soul. You must keep your emotions intact or else they will be used against you.

Suddenly, all of the pain and heartache that I've bottled up inside overwhelmed me.

Why is this water falling from my eyes?

Are these my tears?

Why am I crying?

I've never seen His Majesty cry again after he lost his favorite pet. Is it really okay for me, his undeserving servant, to shed these tears instead of him?

Nagtaas ako ng mukha at tulalang napatitig sa maganda niyang mukha.

How could she have done this?

How could simple words coming from her make me feel something like this?

When did I become so lonely?

Namalayan ko nalang ang unti-unting pagkakaluhod ko mula sa kinatatayuan ko. Matapos iyon ay tuluyan ko nang nabitawan ang espadang hawak ko na balak ko sanang gamitin para kitilin ang buhay niya.

Without even realizing it, I was already crying my heart out in the middle of that silent morning.

Why is this happening to me? Your majesty, why is my heart breaking?

Naramdaman ko ang mainit na kamay na humaplos ng mukha ko. Gulat naman akong napataas ng mukha at naramdaman ko nalang ang tuluyang pagkakatigil ko nang sumalubong sa paningin ko ang magandang mukha niya.

"Qingyuan, it's okay." She spoke softly while touching my face. "You can always show your real emotions to me."

While looking at the woman that's right in front of me, I can now finally understand the feelings of his majesty.

Since then on, I have unknowingly surrendered my heart and my whole life to the most beloved consort of my master.

To be continued...