The Way It Burns - BbangNyu

[26]

Chanhee had made up his mind, it was time to be honest. He couldn't keep living with all that guilt, this wasn't the person he wanted to be. Even if things turn out badly, and even if his life somehow becomes more complicated, this was the right thing to do. 

Sitting across from his boyfriend, the angel took a deep breath, accepting whatever will happen once he speaks the next five words. 

"I want to break up."

Both angels sat expressionless, as silence filled the air. 

"I think that's for the best."

Sangyeon couldn't blame Chanhee, things had been rough over these past few weeks. He expected some sort of break to come, not exactly a full break up, but that wasn't surprising either. However, this was the farthest thing from what he wanted, he really did love Chanhee. He'd been thinking over the past few days, that if he gave Chanhee some space, then maybe, just maybe, he'd realize that he does want to be with him. So, instead of getting angry, or sad, he let the angel go.

"What are we going to do about the wedding?" Chanhee asked. He was relieved that Sangyeon took the break up so well, but there was still the wedding hanging over their heads. 

Tapping his fingers lightly on the wooden table, Sangyeon stated. "Nothing. You know our parents will never let us cancel it, it's going to go ahead whether we like it or not. We'll just have to deal with our new relationship, set some boundaries, or rules possibly."

Chanhee knew he was right, the wedding was being publicized everywhere, there wasn't one person in the city who didn't know about it. It was unavoidable, he had to marry Sangyeon. 

"What kind of rules?" 

"Well technically we're not together, so, I don't think we should live like a normal couple. Just think of some rules based on that." Sangyeon replied. He needed to be supportive, make Chanhee as comfortable as possible, that way he could fall back into his arms.

It was kind of strange, Sangyeon was moving so fast, already discussing their lives like they'd never been together at all. Chanhee was definitely a little suspicious, although, he didn't want to keep thinking badly of Sangyeon. Maybe he was just trying to do something to benefit both of them, meaning they could live their lives happily beside one another.

"Okay, I think I understand." Chanhee said, debating whether he should continue. He had one thing he really wanted to bring up, though it could be a touchy subject. Nonetheless, he'd need to talk about it eventually, so he decided to do it now. "How would relationships work?" He added, seeing Sangyeon slightly tense up. "If we were to see other people, what would be the rules on that?"

Relationships? Sangyeon wondered if Chanhee disliked him so much, that he was already thinking of being with someone else. He couldn't deny that it stung, he didn't want to imagine Chanhee dating another angel.

"It depends. I'd say the main rule would to be honest, we don't want to blindside the other person." He explained, holding back every urge to prohibit new relationships entirely.

"That makes sense, I'd agree to-"

"Not just that." Sangyeon interrupted. "I hope you know how hard this is for me, we've been engaged for a long time, and all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. But I have a big rule, that you're probably not going to like. You can see whoever you want, be intimate with whoever you want, really adore whoever you want, I don't mind, as long as you don't fall in love."

 It was too late for that, Chanhee couldn't follow that rule. His heart belonged to another, someone who made him feel like the luckiest angel in the world. It was awful, he knew he was going to hurt Sangyeon, but if he couldn't follow that second rule, he had to at least follow the first.

"I can't agree to that." Chanhee stated.

"Why?! It's a big deal to me Chanhee, I need you to agree." Sangyeon raised his voice, letting out some of those bubbling emotions he'd been pushing down.

Chanhee knew Sangyeon wouldn't like what he was about to hear, but it was time to come clean. He swallowed the lump in his throat, before spilling the harsh truth. "I can't agree because I've already broken the rule, I'm in love with someone else."

Sangyeon had never experienced this feeling in his life, he couldn't even describe it. Being told by the one you love, that they love another, was only something he'd read in tragedies. Chanhee was his whole world, and now he'd lost that. Had he been too blind to see? Did he not show him that he cared?  Or was he simply just not enough? All questions that raced through his mind, he didn't know if he was ready for the answers. 

"I- uh...how, for how long?" Sangyeon stuttered, eventually getting a proper question out.

"I'm not sure." 

"Not sure? How pathetic do you think I am?!" Sangyeon shouted, slamming his fist on the table. He could hold back, there was no need to protect Chanhee's feelings, when he clearly didn't care about his. "You have the audacity to fall in love with someone else, but don't even know how long you've loved them? I can tell you exactly how long I've loved you, I can even specify the exact moment! So, think about it again! How long have you loved them?!"

There he was, the Sangyeon Chanhee despised. The cruel, rude, and hurtful angel, who couldn't control his temper. If Sangyeon had some sort of plan to get Chanhee back, this was doing nothing for it, completely working against it. "You know exactly how long you've loved me, well I've know exactly how long I haven't loved you. If I had to guess, it was probably a few weeks ago, when I was still lying to myself." He blurted out, immediately covering his mouth after realizing what he said. He'd let his anger take over, acting no better than Sangyeon.

"My love for you really means that little, huh?"

"It's not like-"

"It is exactly like that!" Sangyeon screamed, biting roughly down on his bottom lip, attempting to suppress the rage. "I'm only going to ask one more thing, before I leave. Have you acted on your feelings?" 

 "What do you mean by that?" Chanhee muttered, feeling the tears starting to well up. 

"Answer the God damn question!" 

A single tear rolled down the angels pale skin, as he slowly nodded, making no eye contact with Sangyeon. He flinched at the sudden chair screech, not even having to look up to know Sangyeon was gone. This wasn't how things were meant to be, he never wanted his life to be this way. He wondered why he couldn't have been blessed to just love Sangyeon, and live a peaceful life with him. It would be easier that way, he'd be the normal, perfect angel, that he was expected to be. 

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I'm back and will continue the daily posting!
I hope everyone had a lovely day and weekend💕
I had a bunch of trades and sales to post on Saturday, but other than that I've just been chilling😊
The story's getting a little bit more complicated now, we're gonna start diving into the deeper dramas, so I'm quite excited for what's to come🥰